After last week’s episode ramped up the stakes for our heroes, we headed into the first season finale with a lot of questions that needed answers. Who poisoned Jade? Will Quinn take advantage of M.K.’s gifts? Will Sunny turn on his young apprentice to secure passage on the River King’s ship? Did the Widow survive her duel with Sunny? Will Veil blame Sunny for the death of her parents? Will the show come back for a second season? And why are there only six episodes for the season?

Despite the high note that ended last week’s penultimate chapter, the pace of the finale slowed down a considerable bit, but not before Sunny shows up at the River King’s office with payment in hand. Instead of the head of M.K., though, Sunny offers the head of the Colt who M.K. dispatched in the dungeon, hoping that the King won’t notice that it looks completely different from the picture on the wanted poster.

Still, the River King accepts and tells Sunny to be back at midnight or lose his chance to leave the Badlands. Once the clock starts ticking, Sunny has to inform Veil of the plan, but she ain’t having it. See, she’s got questions about her parents’ murder.

Last week, I was worried that the writers were going to make Veil naive and believe Quinn’s lie about Sunny’s involvement in their murder. Fortunately, they didn’t do her like that. Instead, Veil’s anger with Sunny revolved around his reluctance to stop the murder. Because Quinn was right about Sunny’s sword being the murder weapon. This rough patch in their relationship throws a wrench into Sunny’s plan for getting them out of the Badlands.

In another part of the Badlands, one of the acolytes of Ryder’s grandpa seeks a trio of mysteriously hooded figures and tells them about another “Dark One.” This interests the trio’s leader, who just happens to be MMA legend Cung Le!

Back at Quinn’s mansion, Jade is recovering from being poisoned last week. I might have neglected to mention it, but part of Jade’s Machiavellian move to become baroness was more than just getting Quinn to give her power, but to find a way to get Lydia out of the picture as well. Poisoning yourself and blaming Lydia was the best way to go about it, especially because everyone knows Lydia got rid of the previous other wife. Turnabout is fair play, I guess.

Quinn has more than dueling wives to worry about since he knows of a mole within his ranks. Since he doesn’t suspect his son Ryder, Quinn moves to have Sunny arrested and detained as the traitor. Sunny surrenders without a fight. Clippers are then sent for Veil, but she isn’t in her clinic because the Butterflies have kidnapped her first. Their plans for Veil are less sinister, though. She is taken to the Widow, not as a victim but as a caregiver. It seems that Widow’s battle with Sunny has left her in a tough spot.

Veil agrees to help the Widow but leaves three bottles behind — one with medicine, the others with poison — as insurance that she’ll be returned safely. Widow agrees, and again, I’m thinking how much of the show is really about Minerva and her quest, not for power, but for justice. Throughout this season, this has been her story, and I’m eager to see her become the lead hero alongside Sunny (or hell, even instead of Sunny at this point).

Since Quinn couldn’t get his hands on Veil, he turns to M.K. and offers Sunny freedom in exchange for his own Super Saiyan Clipper. M.K. agrees to be Quinn’s personal body guard as long as Sunny and Tilda’s safety are guaranteed. To celebrate his newest Clipper, Quinn takes M.K. to  a brothel to lose his virginity. Ryder, seeing his father leave with M.K. informs Jacobee’s regent and they set the trap.

Meanwhile, in the dungeons, Sunny is chained up and ineffectual. Really, there’s no way he’s getting out with out a Deus ex Stephen Lang. And wouldn’t you know it, Waldo shows up in the nick of time!

It seems Waldo was the traitor all along (well, Ryder too, but Waldo was the one letting Widow in all this time).

Now that Sunny is free,  he can either meet up with the River King and flee or head down to the brothel where the ambush is happening and take out Quinn himself. Guess which option Sunny chooses.

In front of the brothel, Quinn sees Jacobee and his people approach. After exchanging a few words, Quinn realizes his son has turned against him and knows he has nothing left. So he cuts M.K. and activates his powers. Jacobee’s men go flying like rag dolls and Quinn makes a run for it. Unfortunately, he runs right into the sharp end of Sunny’s sword.

And just like that, our big bad is gone. While I won’t exactly miss Quinn, seeing Sunny clip him wasn’t as satisfying as I anticipated. Maybe because Sunny’s loyalty never really wavered until Quinn chained him up. For most of the season, Sunny was just too cool with all the crap Quinn was doing that seeing the Baron get his comeuppance was anti-climatic to say the least.

Fortunately, we haven’t reached the climax yet because there’s one more amazing fight sequence left in the season, and it involves Cung Le and his Dark Trio.

The Dark monks show up to take M.K. — where, we’re not sure. Since Sunny doesn’t know who these people are, he charges them and then proceeds to get his ass kicked in the wuxia-iest sequence of the season.

After the monks dispose of Sunny, they take M.K. — stuffing him back in a box very reminiscent of the one he was trapped inside of in the pilot. We assume Sunny is left for dead, but somehow he wakes up on the River King’s boat, presumably on his way out of the Badlands. Also, the King is pretty pissed that Sunny lied about killing M.K. Looks like we have a new antagonist for season two (if there is a season two).

Am I the only one who thinks Supergirl came back sooner than expected? Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that one of my favorite shows is back on the air, but since the other DC shows — namely Flash, Arrow, and Legends — don’t return until the week of January 19 I assumed Supergirl would be joining them then. Also doesn’t help that there isn’t a new episode next week either. Still, Supergirl is back — for this week, at least — and they pick up right where they left off before Christmas.

In the aftermath of their super fight above Lord Technologies, Non takes Hank hostage and speeds away. Maxwell Lord retrieves his anti-Supergirl gun and gives Alex the cold shoulder. Looks like Lord doesn’t want the DEO’s help in trying to understand why a band of Kryptonians just destroyed one of his laboratories.

Back in the DEO Cave, Alex has been named interim director, and Kara questions her aunt on the whereabouts of the Evil Kryptonian lair. Over the video feed, Non contacts Alex and proposes a prisoner exchange: Hank for Astra. Alex considers it, to the shock of Supergirl who still isn’t aware of Hank’s alien roots. Before they can agree to any exchange, General Lane enters the picture and takes over the operation on orders from the president.

Because Kara wouldn’t torture her aunt to get answers earlier in the episode, we get a scene of the sadistic General Lane going Gitmo on Astra and injecting her with some sort of Kryptonian liquid, and Laura Benanti sells it with the most blood-curdling scream.

Of course, the information they Krypto-waterboarded out of her leads Lane’s men into a trap that nearly gets everyone killed. Instead of giving up Hank’s whereabouts, Astra gives them the address of an empty warehouse. Hanks’s “bio” signature is found inside a shipping container, but instead of the real Hank, it’s just a hologram concealing a bomb. Luckily, Supergirl was there with her bomb-proof cape(?) and saves Alex and a rando Army guy.

At CatCo, James is watching Maxwell Lord on television cover up the alien encounter at his company as an act of corporate espionage. James thinks something is fishy and pays Lord a visit. When he doesn’t get any answers, he and Winn team up to break into Lord’s office and find evidence of wrong doing. Pretty sure nothing bad will come out of that. Not at all.

Also, Kara tells Winn and James that Cat has figured out her secret identity. Rather than letting Cat in on the secret, the writers have decided to keep her in the dark, which in my opinion is the wrong move. I really enjoyed the scene between Melissa Benoist and Calista Flockhart last episode, and thought it had a lot of potential storywise. Not sure how good idea it is to throw that development away, no matter how cool a gimmick it generates for the viewer (but more on that later).

Eventually, Cat gives Kara and ultimatum: either she admits she’s Supergirl or she’s fired. All of this despite the fact that Kara basically already admitted she was Supergirl last week, but whatevs. When Kara returns to the Super Friends office, she finds a bloodied and beaten James. Turns out he got caught snooping around Lord Tech after all. Kara is about to go Bad Supergirl on Maxwell Lord when her Super Friends remind her that isn’t who she is.

Instead of burning down Lord Tech, she goes back to the DEO and confronts her aunt one more time. We then flashback to Astra’s sentencing on Krypton. We learn that she and her men were sent to Fort Rozz because of unspeakable crimes they committed as eco-terrorists. Alura believed Astra’s claims about Krypton’s doomed future but didn’t approve of her methods. And I can’t help but wonder how Jor-El fits into this. Will they reveal Jor-El was in league with these radicals? Could be an interesting twist. Anyway, Astra, Non, and company get sentenced and transported to the Phantom Zone and nary a phallic symbol was in sight.

Armed with this new info about her aunt and mother, Kara has a renewed belief that there is still good in Astra and agrees to the prisoner exchange (against General Lane’s wishes). When the exchange goes down, Non — as expected — plans an ambush and dozens of Evil Kryptonians fly in ready to attack. But Astra, true to her word, calls them off and everyone lives to fight another day.

Now that Hank is back, they let Kara in on his Martian secret. Mostly because Supergirl overheard Alex tell Hank to “transform” forgetting about her sister’s superhearing. Her reaction to Hank’s origins is priceless.

Of course, now that she knows she has a shapeshifter in her midst, we now have a resolution to the Cat Grant issue. And this is the moment they were building up to.

Kara’s moment of truth arrives and she goes to Cat’s office to tell her once and for all that she is not Supergirl. Of course, Cat doesn’t believe her and is about to fire her when in the window flies in Supergirl?

Seeing Kara standing side by side with Supergirl convinces Cat that she was actually wrong about her assistant. And the status quo is maintained.

Again, I know why they’re going this route, but I’m still disappointed. I thought it was ballsy to have Cat figure out Kara’s secret on her own, and I wish the writers would stick with that. But the gag was too good to ignore, I suppose. Oh, what gag?

I guess I’ll forgive Cat’s character development regression if we get more scenes of J’onn in action.

Hi Guys! Supreme Chief Keith is out for the week, so I’m covering Supergirl! After I watched this week’s episode, I was glad I was recapping this one and not last week’s, which kinda bored me. This week was better and included some great acting, but some of the writing left me wanting… Let’s dive in!

Toy Story 4: Andy’s Toys Try to Murder Him

Let me get this out of the way: I do not ship Winn and Kara. His crush has been more annoying than sweet and because of it, he’s been one of the characters I’ve cared the least about. And yet, in this episode that was somehow the most and least about Winn’s crush on Kara (I’ll explain why in a minute), I cared the most for Winn. Part of that is due to Jeremy Jordan’s really strong performance this week.

I say that this episode is both the most and least about the crush because usually Winn’s scenes all play on the fact that he has feelings for Kara. His puppy dog looks, his eagerness to help her, his jealousy over Kara’s affection for James… With Toy Man’s introduction, most of his scenes were about that instead, which made for a stronger character. I cared more about Winn because it wasn’t about Kara. His angst over being scared that he will turn into his father was very compelling. His conflict over helping the FBI kill his father versus not actually wanting him to die was very well done.

This of course led to this episode being the MOST about Winn’s crush, because he finally acts on his feelings (in completely the wrong moment) and kisses Kara in his moment of vulnerability.

Winn gets another emotional hit after an already tough day.

Winn tells Kara he can’t hang out with her socially anymore right now, because bottling up the pain of her rejection could lead him to exploding like his father. While I’ve been over Winn’s crush, I think this was the episode it bothered me the least because it had more depth, it had emotional consequences, and will lead to interesting things down the road with Kara and Winn’s separation.

Now Kara doesn’t have the sole affection of either of her guys. “If you weren’t in my life, I’d be lost too.” Clearly this will bother her, but perhaps she needs to become a little more self sufficient.

Getting Away from The J’onzz’s

While I used to hate scenes at the DEO, now that they’ve fleshed out Hank/J’onn’s character — and made it less about the military aspect of the group — they’ve become more tolerable. (Except when General Lane is around.) Now that Kara knows Hank’s identity, they’re allowing us more insight into his powers and his emotions. Alex tries to convince Hank to use his Martian powers to spy on Maxwell Lord while she… ahem — distracts him. When Hank finally agrees, we see the extent of his shifting, his phasing, and even his memory wipes. That last one, used on a clever security guard, didn’t just erase the night, but his whole life.

Hank is very torn up about this. Every time he transforms back into J’onn J’onzz, he becomes more and more like the monster people would see him as. There seems to be a lack of control he experiences as J’onn that makes his powers go too far? But also there is the metaphor here. They were a bit heavy handed about the “coming out of the closet” aspect of it, but it’s important to note that J’onn feels less ostracized as a black man than he does as a monstrous alien. The show doesn’t touch on race often — only one scene was really of note (James and Kara punching out their anger) — but there could be potential for them to discuss it here.

What J’onn feels as an alien, the reaction he fears from humans, is what many black men feel in the real world. They are seen as dangerous and unworthy of a second chance (see the police “defense” on nearly any of the recent police shootings). Hank/J’onn, as the leader of a super secret organization, might not spend a lot of time in the regular world, but it makes me wonder if he’s experienced the racial prejudice that can often match his fears of coming out as Martian Manhunter. It would be bold for the show to explore this, but the layers are there… But they did mention that Kara coming out as Supergirl was very different from Hank coming out as J’onn because Kara is a “pretty, blonde (read: white) who looks like a cheerleader.”

In Which I Hate Maxwell Lord Even More Than Before

Maxwell Lord has a face you just don’t like. Douche-face if you will (and that’s a clear choice, because I found his face much less douchey, more open, when J’onn shapeshifted into him). So I’ve never liked him and I’ve always slightly tuned out during his storylines. Now that he’s stepping up as the big bad of this arc, he’s even worse.

He threatens Supergirl (and his hate for her grows every moment it comes into contact with her), he kidnaps and attacks James, and bugs Alex with a recording device — telling him all he needs to know about Alex’s subterfuge, Supergirl’s identity, and even some of her weaknesses. Plus we still don’t know why there is a girl, clearly a metahuman (or whatever we call mutants/inhumans on this show), in the bowels of his company. I cannot wait for Supergirl to punch him in his douchey face.

Things That Didn’t Make Sense

• Toy Man’s glass projection. There was NO explanation of how he accomplished this tech 1.) With only his toy/bomb making skills. 2.) Two days out of prison. 3.) Where you can’t tell at ALL that it was glass? Seriously, how did he make that thing look so human?
• WHY DIDN’T WINN TELL KARA THAT THERE WERE 10 BOMBS THERE BEFORE HE WENT? He’s a tech guy who’s friends with Supergirl. He couldn’t have gotten a message to her SOMEHOW?
• SPEAKING OF WINN BEING THE TECH GUY: WHY DOESN’T HE KNOW NOT TO SPEAK INTO THE WIRE? That felt so cheap to me. He literally does this as a side job for a superhero. He knows better. Don’t make Winn dumb just because he’s distracted.
• The FBI kept SHOOTING AT TOY MAN WHILE WINN WAS IN THE WAY. That cannot be how firing on a suspect works when there are civilians around. Also, stop being a douche Emma Caulfield.
• How exactly does ice protect civilians from 10 bombs!??! Once again, I needed an explanation as to how Kara saved the day.

Oh, I forgot to talk about James/Lucy. Mostly because I don’t care. While I’d love for Kara/James to get together, I don’t need a Kara longing stare in every episode. Just like Winn’s crush was annoying, the needless reminders of Kara’s are getting to be so as well. Because we know how they both feel. I preferred Cat calling out the Kara/James work flirt. That moment was more nuanced than Kara’s longing stare. Also, Lucy and James’ fight early in the episode annoyed me because she begged him for his opinion and then got mad when he offered a diplomatic answer. “I don’t need your permission!” You asked for his opinion!

This was good though:

I shall call my favorite moments section Rays of Sunshine, because they are what make Kryptonians so strong on earth (yay puns!):

• J’onn and Kara flying together was a delightful way to begin the episode.

• Like I said earlier, Jeremy Jordan really impressed me this episode. I think he took some really non-nuanced writing and added to it. While I don’t need an angst storm every time he’s around now, he showed he could bring some gravitas to Winn.
• “Well hey, you have a homicidal maniac in the family too, so you know where I’m coming from.”
• “I don’t normally inhale.”
• “He seems like a sensitive boy. Think he can cry on cue?”

• Sisterly bonding!

“Potential Energy,”the title of 2016’s first episode, is pure nerd genius. This episode explores the coulda-shoulda- woulda potential of fresh relationships between our favorite characters and some of the show’s newcomers: Barry + Patty Spivot, Joe + Wally West, and Caitlin + Jay Garrick. By the shock-factor end tag (don’t miss it!), one pairing aggressively commits to eachother, one pairing takes the first tentative steps towards building a stronger connection, and one pairing dissolves in a pile of angst. Keep reading to figure out the fate of each duo.

Meta-human of the Week: The Turtle

Russell Glosson was a thief and robber that gained his powers during the particle accelerator explosion. As our MOTW, Turtle has the ability to channel all of the surrounding kinetic energy into himself. This means, everyone else becomes stationary, and he can move freely to thieve amongst his unsuspecting victims: he’s not really fast, he just makes everyone else really, really slow. Barry’s speedy intake of energy allows him to kinda-sorta move to see what’s going on whenever Turtle uses his powers, but he moves like he’s trapped in a vat of goop.

Team Flash targets the Turtle to study him in order to find a possible solution to slow Zoom down. Harry Wells is pretty desperate to make this plan work, considering he made a deal with Zoom to betray Barry and help the evil speedster steal our Barry’s speedforce. This bodes well, to me at least, because it indicates that Harry does not want to double-cross Team Flash… he just will if he absolutely needs to in order to protect his daughter.

Once Turtle is locked up in their lab prison, Harry takes matters into his own hands. Literally brain matter. He sticks a science-gun thing up Turtle’s nose and drills out a piece of the Turtle’s brain. You know, for science. Aughhhh. Turtle Time is done.

Barry/Patty

It’s supposed to be Date Night, I guess, and Barry speeds to meet Patty. He’s late. Then his bouquet bursts into flames and he has to stomp them in order to extinguish the fire. You don’t think the date could get worse, but Zoom speeds in and kidnaps Patty. He takes her to a rooftop and throws her off the side of a skyscraper. They should’ve just Netflix-and-chilled.

But it’s a fakeout! Barry was having a nightmare… ohhhhhh.

Is the Barry/Patty relationship a good dream that’s about to turn into something awful and it’s going to jolt Barry into reality? A sweaty, sleeveless reality? Or maybe the Barry/Patty relationship is like that bouquet of flaming flowers:

The threat of Zoom taking Patty away from Barry is very real — just ask Harry Wells — so Barry must decide whether or not to tell Patty his flash-y secret. I’m with Iris and Team Secrets-Do-Not-Equal-Protection, but I also understand that Barry is getting swept up in a relationship after a very dark time in his life. He’s clinging to the good and speeding into a commitment, not knowing if Patty is down for everything that comes with being on Team Flash. Even if she is a sweetheart.

While Barry ponders this life-changing decision (and serious step of DTR-ing), Turtle kidnaps Patty after noticing how personally valuable she seemed to be to the Flash. Apparently, Turtle’s MO is to steal things of immense personal value. Sicko.

Barry saves Patty before Turtle adds her to his creepy treasure box, and decides that, YEAH OKAY I NEED TO TELL HER THE TRUTH. It’s too late, and Patty breaks up with Barry at the CCPD to go to school and become a forensic scientist. After avenging her father’s murder, she has no reason to stay in Central City. Owwwww.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS BY THE END: Over for now.

Joe/Wally/Iris if she had more screen time

Joe West and Wally West relationship is pre-defined: father and son. Joe is usually really good at the father part, but Wally isn’t having it. He has his own handsome secrets: he skips a West Family Dinner (including Barry) to drag race for some pink slips. The future Kid Flash is fast and furious. When Joe calls him out on accountability and commitments, Wally calls him out on absentee parenting and being the man of the house for his sick, dying mother. So Wally’s not just racing due to Daddy Issues — he sells the cars he wins to pay for Francine West’s hospital bills.

In the end, the two West men come to an understanding that forging a relationship won’t be superspeedy, but they’re willing to stuff their faces with Chinese takeout and discover what it will be. Slowly. (Wally West isn’t really good at going slow, though.)

RELATIONSHIP STATUS BY THE END: Taking their time and going with the flow.

Caitlin/Jay

The SnowJay ship is just really cute and really smart and drinking champagne from beakers and cute and smart… until Caitlin steals Jay’s DNA to discover that he’s sick and dying. It’s the reason why he needs the Speedforce back — Jay will literally die without it.

I gotta say… I’m usually a Caitlin stan, and I was a little bit annoyed with how she spun Jay’s dying secret to make it about her. But, you know what? She’s just being honest about her feelings, and now they could move forward. No seriously, now these two are officially officially and together they’re fighting this thing and science-ing the shit out of the circumstances to try defeat Zoom so that Jay could take back his powers.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS BY THE END: Committed AF

Honorable Mention: Cisco/Harry

Technically, Harry Wells is a newcomer character: he has a different background and personality and agenda from Tom Cavanagh’s season one role. Cisco + Harry is a brand new dynamic of resistance and occasional give. Harry is trying to play nice [see tumblr post above], even if it’s not in his Earth 2 nature, and Cisco is trying to ignore the fact that he’s a dick who looks like the biggest backstabber he’s ever faced. They share an important moment alone in the car discussing Zoom, and Cisco offers to “vibe” for Harry anytime he needs to be reassured of Jessie Quick’s safety.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS BY THE END: It’s complicated.

End Tag:

Shut up. Shut up. Did they just…?

Superquick Things:

• I’d like to bring attention to the fact that Barry Allen wears a CCPD tshirt to bed. With the sleeves cut off. Like he’s a gym rat or something.
• We got a Westallen moment, you guys!

• Flash Family + Barry’s Tardiness

• If I was wearing a gorgeous gown and sandwiched between two hot flashes, I’d be grinning as large as Caitlin Snow too:

• Also, Caitlin’s gown had icy snowflakes on the back. Such a killer dress. So frosty.
• Snowbarisco’s face during Cisco’s “Not-A-Ninja Turtle” line [See under MOTW]. I think that I missed the three of them the most during the hiatus.
• This Barry moment is being left here just so I could use this GIF for my own personal use.
• Patty/Iris: Good for you, Patty. But also, you are clueless about EVERYTHING.

• Wally obviously thinks Iris is awesome. I try not to get emotional because I have a younger brother and I hope he looks at me like that auuughhh oh god.

• The most important information from this episode:

Thanks for reading! Now let me try and figure out what Eobard Thawne is doing back…

So I’ve been out for a few weeks and am still catching up on all the TV I missed, but I wanted to get this Supergirl recap out ahead of tonight’s all new episode. This won’t be a full on recap, however. Basically just a series of OMG gifs because I’m still reeling from the fact that we actually have a live action Martian Manhunter show on television, you guys! Also shout out to Connie for holding down the recap fort on Supes last week!

“Strange Visitor from Another Planet” kicks off with Kara at the coffee shop getting hit on by her real life husband and former Glee co-star, Blake Jenner. (And I have one more actor to add to the list for the eventual Arrow/Flash/Supergirl musical crossover!)

Turns out the guy is not Kara’s (McKinley) high school  sweetheart but Cat’s long lost son and is only in town because Kara forged a letter Cat never sent to him. When Cat finds out, she’s livid and fires Kara on the spot. Before she fires Kara, though, she sends Jimmy James to cover an anti-immigrant alien rally held by Donald Trump Senator Miranda Crane.

At the rally, a strange blur starts attacking the attendees and James captures it all on film. He signal watches Kara, and Supergirl arrives just in time to find the alien attacker.

It’s just as well too because when Hank sees the alien, he uncharacteristically freezes in the field. What could have spooked our favorite Martian? How about a white one?

Who knew when Supergirl first started that we’d be getting such a deep dive into another iconic Justice Leaguer in J’onn J’onzz? But yo, Berlanti, Kreisberg, and Adler just gave us the Martian Manhunter origin story in prime time on CBS! And it was dope.

Senator Crane is taken back to DEO HQ, but it isn’t the senator at all. Lest we forget, Martians (green and white ones) can shapeshift and it seems that the White Martian attacker has assumed the visage of its victim to get close to the Martian Manhunter. While in custody, the senator reveals herself and Hank freezes once again.

Also, I have to give all the props to David Harewood for a bravura performance this episode! I wasn’t always the biggest fan of the DEO earlier this season, but the Martian Manhunter reveal us me breathlessly anticipating future Hank scenes. 

Anyway, J’onn/Hank blames himself for all of the damage the White Martian is causing, but Alex helps him deal. 

The two plan to take on the White Martian together, but when the plan goes south (and Alex gets abducted), Hank decides once and for all he’s going to go on a suicide mission to kill the White Martian himself.  Suffice it to say, Kara is not on board with this mission.

Hank shows up to surrender to the White Martian, but Supergirl also arrives, and the three have an alien v alien v alien showdown that is ten times more engaging than anything I’ve seen from Batman v Superman.

The second J’onn gets the upper hand, he puts Krypto-cuffs on Kara and proceeds to slit the White Martian’s throat. Kara appeals to his better angels, and convinces J’onn that killing their enemies is not what superheroes do (unless you’re her cousin).

Hank/J’onn agrees and they lock up the White Martian at the DEO. Hank thanks Alex and Kara and tells them they are like daughters to him.

Meanwhile, Ryder Adam starts to patch up his relationship with his mother, thanks to Kara’s intervention which also saves her job. They also continue their flirty banter (it’s like they should get married or something) so it’s a good sign that he’ll probably be back on the show to make James and/or Winn insanely jealous.

The episode ends with Kara and Alex watching television together and seeing a news report of another Supergirl in National City.

This time it isn’t Martian Manhunter in disguise either but our first look at Bizarro Supergirl.

From Felicity’s back and forth with pain meds to the Diggle’s being featured up front, Episode 4.11, “A.W.O.L.” gave its secondary leads lots of screen time. It was one of the season’s strongest episodes on that front, because fans always want more of Diggle and Felicity, and less of Oliver (and the darn island). We did, however, see how the DC Cinematic Universe could be ruining things for their TV properties. Let’s dive in real quick.

The Most Black People Since Season One or Ever

With John, Andy, Amanda, and technically baby Sara, this episode had the most black people in one episode (in one scene with the former three) that I can remember. Season 1 had a few black side characters and of course they all slowly disappeared.

What’s sad is that I tweeted this during the airing of the episode and someone tweeted back “One of them will be dead by the end of the episode.”

First of all, it was meant to be a joke. Second of all, I really thought it was going to be Andy if anyone. We’ll get to Waller later, but I was a little upset this turned out to be true.

Anyway, it was nice seeing a non-Oliver flashback, even if I didn’t care too much about the plot of this flashback either. Also, we seem to be connecting Andy to Oliver’s Island? Felt a bit nail on the head, and does that mean Andy and Oliver have met before? Where are they taking this? The flashbacks continue to be a mess.

I really enjoyed having Lyla back and seeing her and Diggle on their date. I’m glad we get a normal couple with little drama between them. I hope we get to see more of John’s home life, especially now that Andy is staying with them.

Do I trust Andy yet? Not really. I think that just like Felicity’s hallucinations disappearing for a hot minute and them reappearing at a vital time, Andy’s allegiances to secret organizations is definitely going to come back to haunt everyone soon enough. Also, GO SEE YOUR WIFE AND CHILD, ANDREW. I think the fact that he hasn’t seen them proves that he has MUCH to work on and could possibly die before getting to do so, giving John the line, “At least we don’t have to tell Carly.”

An Unexplained Hallucination

I don’t really want to focus too much on the Felicity story this week — I enjoyed Oliver’s support and their scenes together, but with the flashforward of her with no ring, it seems like I am being led down a bright sunny road only to be clobbered at the end of the road.

Also, I am a little frustrated by the ableism. For a character who has a TON of money, resources from good friends and superheroes, plus occasional mystical assistance, the show’s focus on how hard this is for Felicity falls a little flat. There was little reason for her hesitance to go back in the field that had anything to do with her legs. (She’s already proven she will continue the mission through Oliver’s DEATH, so her not wanting to come back for even a brief amount of time was very strange to me.)

I think in the end, they have to restore her ability to walk because of the whole Oracle thing (so does she exist in this -verse or not? Oliver mentions her, but how would he know who she is?) so it seems Felicity will probably walk again (and there are too many ways to fix it in universe). Then, however, the question goes back to last season’s wedding: then what was the point? I’m thinking this wheelchair arc might reek a little of that.

I’m not a fan of the name Overwatch. Cisco needs to run over to Star City and give Felicity and Spartan better names. Many super names are nouns turned into Proper Nouns (i.e., Arrow), but it doesn’t work in this case for me.

Your Universes are Separate, We Get It, Get Over It

Amanda Waller guys. What’s more frustrating than killing off your only recurring black female character (and right before Vixen because of Highlander syndrome) is the way in which she died.

The running theory is that Suicide Squad members are being offed in the TV universe because of the Suicide Squad movie coming out soon. When Deadshot was killed, however, he got a whole episode redeeming him and giving him the spotlight. We couldn’t have done that for Waller? I assume we have to see her again because she’s still alive in flashback times, but for this episode to be her last? Where we see her with her hands up surrendering to someone? And then killed with no warning, no battle, no last stand? That was annoying to me. I don’t even have the full comics history of Amanda Waller and I was annoyed by that.

Amanda Waller isn’t the surrendering type, which was even said when homie killed her (the whole, she wouldn’t give up the codes, she’d watch her people die thing), so why even show her put her hands up? Then to just off her like that? I needed a last stand moment. Amanda Waller, taking no crap, taking down this man infiltrating her base of operations. A gun battle, a hand to hand combat scene, Amanda offing herself might have even been better.

Also, this: If you’re going to say your TV and movie universes are separate DC/WB, then let them be separate. Don’t kill your TV characters to make room for them in the movies. Especially when you have a show as big (and great) as The Flash. You can’t kill all those characters. So why kill the Suicide Squad? Why make it so painfully obvious? Taking away the Squad members, who were mostly all fan favorites and added depth and good episodes to the show even when not presented as a whole, kills so many opportunities for the show. It makes us view the TV universe as lesser than rather than what it should be: merely an alternative. That’s like killing off the animated characters because the big screen films are coming up. It makes no sense.

The handling of Amanda’s death and the whole Suicide Squad erasure from the TV universe is incredibly frustrating. This is not the way to show up Marvel, which despite its own issues, is at least trying to craft a wide and complete universe. You can do that too, DC, with separate universes, just don’t act like your viewers are too stupid to be able to enjoy both. (Unless you’re afraid of the comparisons. Will the DC TV Universes’ Squad appear better than the movie one? Is it a lack of faith in your own work? Hmm.)

Like the return of Harrison Wells earlier in the season, the latest episode of The Flash found an interesting way bring back last season’s main baddie: The Reverse Flash! Unlike Wells-2, this isn’t an alternative universe version of Eobard Thawne. Instead, the Thawne we meet in “The Reverse Flash Returns” is actually one from a timeline different from last season’s Reverse-Wells. Yeah, it’s kind of confusing.

I was happy to see Scandal’s Matt Letscher reprise the role of the original Eobard Thawne. Tom Cavanagh did such a great job as a villain that I think people (on and off) the show kind of forgot that Prime-Harrison Wells actually wasn’t an evil jackass. So it was a pleasure to see Thawne in his natural state.

One thing the episode never cleared up (or it did, but I either wasn’t paying attention or couldn’t comprehend) is how Thawne exists in the first place. I thought since Eddie shot himself in the heart in 2015 that the Thawne bloodline would end bleeding out on the floor of S.T.A.R. Labs, thus preventing Eobard from ever being born.

So even if the Reverse Flash we see in this episode comes from an “earlier” time period than the one who traveled back in time and got stuck in 1989, how is he alive in the first place?

Time travel headache aside, this was one of the season’s strongest episodes because it got to the heart of why we love these characters. The way Barry deals with this version of Thawne shows how much our hero has matured in the aftermath of last season’s confrontation with Reverse Flash. Instead of giving in to his hate for Thawne and succumbing to the Dark Side of the (Speed) Force, Barry actually helps Thawne return to his own time period — and therefor put into the motion the exact same events that will eventually become Season One of The Flash all over again.

Speaking of revisiting storylines from last season, this episode also gave us a deeper examination of the relationship between Cisco and “Harry” Wells. Not only have they become my favorite pairing on the show, the two of them continue to develop Cisco into his future superhero persona. This time, Wells figure out that the way to activate Cisco’s powers on cue is through fear, so he dresses up in the spare Yellow Suit in the basement.

Unfortunately, the constant vibing between timelines is uncontainable and Cisco starts vibing in and out of existence and necessitates Barry’s willingness to release Thawne from his cell and let him go home.

Speaking of letting go, the B and C storylines also involve members of Team Flash letting go: The Wests finally say goodbye to Francine, Patty says goodbye to Barry (but not before confirming that he and The Flash are one in the same), and Caitlin confirms that she can’t save Jay’s life using the DNA of his Earth-Prime doppelganger — who happens to be named (Easter Egg) Hunter Zolomon.

For those less versed in Flash lore, Zolomon has also taken up the mantle of the Reverse Flash and calls himself Professor Zoom. What does this mean about our own version of Zoom on the show?!

ConStar here standing in for Christelle, but neither of us are running fast enough…! WHO STOLE OUR SPEED?

I realize I’m getting my milk/speed force analogies mixed up for the 2% pun, but let me live. I only just learned that whole milk is only 3.5% milk anyway.

Episode 2×12 of The Flash, “Fast Lane,” features two characters slowing down: Barry and Wally. Both of their speed problems converge upon Iris, is this a sign of things to come for poor Iris West? There’s a monster of the week, but it’s not all that interesting, so we’ll be zipping by mentions of it.

In Which the Speed Force is Drugs

Zoom is really feening for some speed force, y’all. He takes a shot and needs more. Barry gets some taken from him and needs it back. Wally is going his gateway drug (racing), but he’s soon gonna come into contact with the hard stuff. Jay is going through withdrawal and it’s killing him. The speed force is drugs, guys!

What I found really well done about this episode was the sense of dread anytime Harry was on screen. It was partially due to the music, but also due to Tom Cavanagh just being brilliant. Harry steals 2% of Barry’s speed to give to Zoom, in exchange for his daughter. Obviously Zoom is a jerk, so he doesn’t honor the deal Harry kinda made up himself, but Barry has still lost just enough speed to cause a problem in the episode. But more on that later.

I also loved Harry’s emotional turmoil this week. After last week’s fiasco with Cisco nearly disappearing, I think Harry realized he’s growing fond of these crazy kids and he needs to distance himself if he wants to get stuff done. However, Barry is single again and has a looottt of free time to try to endear himself to ParaWells now, so Harry gets a bit gruff with him. We know he’s feeling the feels whenever he throws something at Team Flash.

The thing about ParaWells is that he is honest. “I’m always going to be a father. First. And one day, Zoom is gonna make me choose between you and my daughter. And every time, unblinkingly, unflinchingly I will choose my daughter. I will betray you.”

“That’s binary thinking. It doesn’t have to be either or.”

Harry’s binary thinking exchange doesn’t work, but Barry gets him to solve the formula to close the portals. They succeed and Barry’s joy (he finally smiles! After like two really sad puppy episodes) weighs on Harry’s conscience. After the Iris Incident, he finally tells Team Flash that he stole that crucial 2% and they lock him up in the meta prison.

Uhm. Guys. Isn’t that a bit harsh? It was Super!Dad Joe who makes the first move, but Barry wisely points out that Wells was just working in the interest of his daughter, wouldn’t Joe or any of them make the same decision? Hasn’t Cisco already? So they let Harry out and make a decision: They’re going to Earth Two! Time to get move from binary thinking!

Wheels Up

Wally, now just super messed up after his mother finally passes away, continues to wreck roads with his drag racing. Iris and Joe have both tried to talk him out of it, but Joe gives up and gets too buddy-buddy, so Iris feels like she has to be the tough love adult in the family.

She tries to scare Wally with press investigations, but it doesn’t work, his need for speed is too strong. (It’s okay bud, you’ll be fast in another way soon enough, I am sure.) Wally can’t take his eyes off the road until Iris gets hurt because of his recklessness.

He crashes his car and the spray of glass (AN AFRICA SHAPED GLASS DURING BLACK HISTORY MONTH OF ALL THINGS) hits Iris in the chest and she’s hospitalized because Barry was 2% too slow to stop it.

(If that hospital room looks familiar, it’s because along with Iron Heights, Star City and Central City must share hospital facilities despite being several hundred miles away from each other. That was definitely Felicity’s hospital room only a few weeks ago.)

[Ed. note: For what it’s worth, pretty sure that hospital can also be found in Smallville and Metropolis, too.]

Wally admits that going fast reminds him of his mom (it’s always the mother, isn’t it?), but he stays with Iris as she recuperates because he’s opening up to this new family of his. Awwwww.

Sweeps Week Means A Visit to Earth Two!

Wells’ reveal that he’s been working with Zoom to get his daughter back fires the team up to just get Jessie back from Zoom. That means going to Earth Two! It’s TV Sweeps Week, so all of our shows will be putting out all the stops to impress and shock us. Looks like we’re getting nerdy 1940s!Barry, Killer Frost and Death Storm (welcome back Robbie Amell!), SINGING JOE WEST, and assuredly some other twists and surprises. As long as Cisco or Iris or Joe aren’t on death’s door…

Super Quick Things

• This week’s meta was really inconsequential. This episode really could have happened with either no meta or any other meta.
• I’m over Barry being sad. He needs to get some of his pep back.
• Wally wanted to be an astronaut. Wonder if Team Flash will eventually get to space…
• “You understand, for me, my earth is Earth-1.” I don’t think I will ever get over Harry’s insistence on stating this to Team Flash.
• ::Barry speed reads:: Harry: “That’s annoying.”

• Cisco invented MetaHuman Tinder. Let there be an episode about that please.
• Also, those quick moments where Cisco and Barry are chatting (while Wells is being super shady) was really great. It was a bro-moment but we don’t get enough of those where it’s not life or death. Just them ribbing each other and being pals. MORE OF THAT PLEASE.

• “I have a headache.” In your shoulder, Harry?
• “Somebody betta send his ass back to where he came from or I’m gonna shoot him.” “No.” “What do you mean, no?”
• GUYS WE’RE GOING TO GET SINGING JOE WEST. LET THEM PIPES OUT JESSE L MARTIN. I’LL COVER YOUUUUUUUU!

Another Oliver-light episode, “Unchained,” focuses on Felicity, Nyssa, and ROY’S RETURN! It was wonderful how much light Roy brought back to the group. He had Oliver smiling and everyone happily working together as a team.

Roy’s Revolving Door

Roy returned this week and it was SUCH a delight. From his apologetic sighs to Team Arrow for bringing mess into their lives to his heart wrenching goodbye to Thea, it was great having Colton Haynes (and Roy’s excessive parkour) back. I love that Roy can come back in a multitude of ways, but it makes me worried for both his and Thea’s safety.

Roy’s goodbye to Thea felt more final than any of their previous ones. Of course, Speedy thinks she’s not going to survive her Blood Lust, but even Roy seemed resolved that this was over. Does this goodbye prevent Roy from coming back? Or will Thea die by the time he does? Either way, after this tearful farewell (from them and the audience… you know you sniffled), can they ever meet again? It would either be repetitive or super awkward (Roy comes back with a wife or something — I think I remember seeing someone reference a Roy companion from the comics they’d like to see).

Hopefully Roy comes back, because his humor and baby blue eyes were missed and a welcome reprieve from some of the Darhkness we’ve experienced. And hopefully Thea doesn’t die, because really why would we destroy Ollie like that? (If she does die, I still think it’s Mama Smoak in the grave because as I’ve said before, Oliver and Felicity’s anger doesn’t match the death of a fellow warrior, it matches the death of an innocent. Plus Thea’s death by Damien would undo all Thea went through from her resurrection to now. She’s already had her life threatened. To kill her again would be repetitive).

I Choose Nyssa

That is all. Nyssa wants Malcolm dead in return for saving Thea’s life. Nyssa deserves this after all she has lost, plus it is her birthright. I think, obviously, it shouldn’t be Team Arrow to do the deed, but I approve of the general plan.

We, as the audience deserve, an awesome Nyssa vs. Malcolm fight where she destroys him. I doubt this is going to happen. Mostly because the cast and producers can’t live without John Barrowman. This, of course, makes sense, but I’m not sure how long they can sustain Merlyn’s storyline. He only exists for Thea and I am ready for her to be over her bloodlust. So hopefully they can find it in them to cut Merlyn from the story. It IS Sweeps Week coming up after all. They’ve got to go big!

Smoak ‘im Out

Daddy’s home, Felicity! I’m sure there is already a lot of hurt feelings and strife between Felicity and her father, but man wait until she finds out The Calculator is her father! I wonder if the Calculator as villain will be a mini-arc while Damien Darhk does whatever he and his wife are doing.

Either way, it seems that neither father nor daughter know that their new nemesis is blood related. But besides wanting a city on a Hellmouth to test his tech (because, come on, Star City is totally cursed with suck), why does Mr. Smoak come back to town? Did he hear of Felicity’s injury? Seems like he’d have shown up earlier if it were her accomplishments as CEO. Or perhaps he wants the battery Palmer Tech just created. I just want to know what he wants from her. Only Laurel on current Team Arrow is free from evil relatives, it seems. (See: Moira — who was complicated and redeemed herself but presented as an obstacle for Ollie many times, Malcolm, Andy, and now Papa Smoak).

Now that it’s officially debunked, I’ve realized how glad I am Damien isn’t actually Felicity’s father. I think The Calculator’s crimes are more redeemable — if they choose to go that route — and in this episode, he didn’t actually get to commit the crime he came to commit. Having Darhk as her father could have thrown her off the deep end with all the terrible things he’s done (I’d say including shoot her, but hey, Moira did it to Ollie).

The Calculator’s crimes are easily to comprehend as an irritating evil. And perhaps we’ll see where Goth Felicity’s ideals and morals come from, which we know Felicity has moved on from but is now coming back to haunt her in the form of her father.

I’m Worried About Katana

Like last episode, which featured more black people than ever all at once, “Unchained” featured three Asian women! It was awesome to see Shado, then Nyssa meeting up with Katana.

HOWEVER, last episode now made me wary. Will they all survive the season? History says no. Plus, there is the fact that Katana appears in the Suicide Squad films. Despite Tatsu not having any Squad connections in the Arrow-verse, have they reintroduced her only to kill her off before the season is over? It would track with Deadshot and Amanda’s treatment (though seeing Deadshot on The Flash’s Earth 2 episode was a delight). So clearly we need to protect Tatsu at all costs! She’s already lost everything, why kill her?

Mini-Flechettes

• Damien Darhk’s Wife is running for Mayor against Oliver. I know that their plans being a bit foiled has made her try to move things along herself, but why didn’t she run before? How does this help their plan. Also, WHAT IS THEIR PLAN? Is it an Earthquake situation?
• Felicity vs. her dad was great, just because you begin to see some resemblances in behavior. Just maybe her dad as her shadow self or something.

• MR TERRIFIC! I was so glad Curtis was back and that he threw a few punches! I think with all the attacks he’s experienced at work, he might slowly be realizing he should be taking self-defense lessons. Hopefully we get to see him do more as the weeks come.

• This week’s flashbacks, despite Shado’s surprise return appearance, were even less sensical than usual. Can we PLEASE get to the point or at least identify a solid goal? S1 Ollie: Get off the island. S2: Ollie: Get off the island and survive Deathstroke’s craziness. Ever since S3, they’ve failed to identify a strong enough goal for me to care.

That’s all I got because Zoom stole my recap speed force. I’m headed to Earth-2 to get it back.

Earth Freaking Two.

In preparation for the Journey to the Central City of Earth-2, Team Flash closed down all of Earth Prime’s breaches except for the large one in S.T.A.R. Labs. It’s their Main Breach; the other 51 were all Side Breaches. (Sidenote: I do not condone the terms “main bitch” and “side bitch” for anything other than earth-to-earth time portals.) I can’t get over that Harry willing to sacrifice his Earth for “our” earth… because he is “distracted by its problems [and] it’s people,” according to his latest and last audio Dear Diary. He caught feelings; I think those feelings are called “friendship,” Harry.

“Go win, Barry. Then come home.” –Iris West

During Barry’s Bon Voyage Dinner at the West residence, Iris confronts Barry about how, well, batshit nuts this whole mission to Earth-2 is. Goddess Iris West wants to make sure the journey isn’t an escape from Barry Allen’s problems on his earth. Oh Barry. Always running towards danger. This is the moment when I knew bad shit was going to down, and coming home will not be as easy as Barry thinks.

“You’re going to see and feel things that look familiar, but they’re not. Up is down. Black is white. Do not let yourself get sucked in emotionally.”  -Jay Garrick

Jay’s pre-portal pep talk to Barry foreshadows what we know is inevitable: puppy dog Barry Allen is going to get attached to Earth-2 doppelgangers and get into trouble. He also orders Team Flash to close the breach if they’re not back in 48 hours. “YEAH RIGHT LIKE I’M GONNA DO THAT,” replies Caitlin. Oh, Barry. Like Joe West isn’t gonna barrel through that breach himself to get you back.

So it’s Barry, Harry, and Cisco who will make the journey. Cisco is their secret weapon to find Zoom even though he hasn’t really made a suit yet, but he has a pocket full of red licorice. Harry offers Barry a final, passive out (“You don’t have to do this..”), but our hero is a man of steel-y determination.

They are the three best friends that anybody could have. Part of me wants this to end up like The Hangover.. and it kind of is for a little bit. Cisco and Barry keep taking inappropriate selfies.

And when they run into the non-evil doppelganger of Tokamak/ Henry Hewitt, Barry and Cisco do not even attempt to act like normal human beings:

Henry Hewitt is the first example in this episode of up being down and black being white. This Easrth-2 counterpart is a “nice normal, guy” according to Cisco. So far the only Earth-2 Good Guy/Bad Guy dichotomy we’ve been exposed to (besides Harrison Wells) is Linda Park as Doctor Light.. but even then there was good in the other Linda. Her alliances were off, but her alignment as “good” or bad” wasn’t completely clear. [More on this later when we get to Earth-2’s Central City Police Department.]

Earth-2 doesn’t necessarily imply Bizarro/Opposite World either. Barry’s counterpart is still a CSI and still adorkable. He may not have superpowers (that we know of), but he’s a good guy. When Cisco’s vibing doesn’t work due to Earth-2’s frequency, Barry kidnaps Barry-2 and sedates him… but not before he has to watch his doppel-self drool and fanboy over Harry Wells. It’s like watching an embarrassing  video of yourself except worse.

So Barry steals Barry-2’s wardrobe to take a look at the new world through his bespectacled doppelganger’s eyes, Disney Cartoon glasses included. At the CCPD, we run into more flipped counterparts: most obviously is the flipped image of Floyd Lawton (aka Deadshot from Arrow) arresting Earth-1’s Captain, David Singh. At first glance, this seems like a real Good Guy v. Bad Guy parallel. However on Earth-1, we never really knew Deadshot’s true allegiance. If anything, he was depicted as a good guy who did bad things after awful things happened who was then blackmailed with his life to do more bad things for good guys who did bad things so they were actually bad guys…. Whoa, did that make any sense? It’s all dubious. Even criminal Earth-2 Singh seems more like a sleaze ball rather than a murderous villain.

And why introduce DETECTIVE IRIS WEST right afterwards if the show is trying to illustrate how backwards everything is on Earth-2? For me, Iris West being a badass Police Captain isn’t too far out of the realm of possibility; it feels more like unexplored possibilities. Iris-2 drags Barry-1 into an empty hallway and attacks his mouth the way we’ve always wanted her to. I love it. Earth-2 Iris West is ballsy as hell.

Speaking of good guys being bad guys, Caitlin-2 and Ronnie-2 have been deemed worthy enough by Zoom to enforce his ruling over Central City-2… because they villainous badasses: Killer Frost and Deathstorm. And they are sexy in love. Sexy SnowStorm.

Westallen-2’s home is the same West house from Earth-1. It’s picture perfect from the wedding photos right down to flawless Captain Iris West deblousing in their living room.

As Iris-2 continues to change out of her work clothes, Barry-1 snoops the rest of her/his/ their house. They have an old school phone with a very interesting speed dial menu:

• DAD
• MOM & DAD
• EDDIE
• BRUCE
• HAL
• DIANA

Or what I see when I read it:

• Joe West
• Nora & Henry Allen
• Marshmallow Eddie Thawne
• Freaking Batman
• Freaking Green Lantern
• Freaking Wonder Woman

Now, I have no idea if the Earth-2 alter egos of the Justice League are sans-superpowers like Earth-2 Barry, but it’s still thrilling to think that they’re all still a part of each other’s lives. What is Barry-2 up to? But I didn’t have time to think about it because our Barry sees “Mom & Dad” and fulfills a fantasy: he has a simple, sweet mother-son phone conversation with Nora Allen.

Earth-2’s hotspot isn’t a coffee place called Jitters, but a nightclub called Jitterbugs featuring the best crooner in the city, Joe West. Yessssssssssssss, Jesse L. Martin is finally singing on TheFlash, and apparently he hates Barry. He calls him Bartholomew and insists that his son-in-law calls him Joseph. It’s so great.

Back on Earth Prime, their Meta-of-the-Week, Adam Fells aka Geomancer, has caught on that The Flash is MIA from town. Joe and Caitlin suggest that Jay Garrick shoot himself up with the Velocity-6 serum that gave him temporary speed. Jay is not at all down with that idea; methinks he doth protest too much. Turns out, Jay became addicted to being fast and used his science brain to make V-6 and increase his speedstering skills. Caitlin gasps, “Zoom never stole your speed… this is what’s making you sick. Velocity-6 is killing you.” She vows to figure out a cure to save him. SnowJay flies on. She is in luuuuuuurve.

In an editing move that I really enjoyed, we cut from Caitlin-1 making a heroic promise to Caitlin-2 taunting Central citizens. Iris-2 reaches for her gun, but Barry tries to stop her. Uh oh, he’s already mistaking doppelgangers for his alterna-earth friends. As Iris-2 points her gun at Evil Sexy SnowStorm and orders the bystanders to evacuate Jitterbugs, Barry calls out, “Caitlin!” before his two best girl friends begin to brawl.

Caitlin-2/ Killer Frost pauses for a second to examine Barry, but then she gets pissed off and shoots icicles towards WestAllen. Barry still has his speed and manages to shield them with a coffee table, but then Ronnie-2/Deathstorm sends a fireball towards Iris-2. She’s almost hit until Joe-2 tackles her and takes the flaming hit.

Before Sexy Snowstorm could do anymore damage, Barry flashes them out into an open space. That’s when the evil couple realised that Barry is a breacher. And now it’s their turn to brawl. Like, in a Super Smash Bros. arena and everything.

Harry Wells is understandably pissed that Barry revealed his identity to Zoom’s cronies because now his daughter, Jesse Quick, is totally going to die. Barry argues that no matter what Earth he’s on, the Wests are his family. A Flash has gotta do what a Flash has gotta do.

At the Earth-2 hospital, Joe-2 says his final goodbye to Iris-2 and Barry. I really, really hope this isn’t awful foreshadowing that our Joe is going to die saving his kid, whether it be Iris, Barry, or Wally. Iris-2 is ready to take out the fire and ice duo, and she’s not letting her husband, Barry, or his “good friend” whom she just met (Cisco Ramon) come with her.

“I just lost my father. I can’t lose my husband too.” -Iris West

On our Earth, Caitlin has developed a new serum: Velocity-7. It seems to work out when Jay zooms in as the Crimson Comet. Also, the Geodude sounds a lot like Captain Cold. Leonard Snart is very influential… no wonder he’s the Mayor of Earth-2’s Central City. Geodude flees despite the V-7 wearing off and Jay returning back to normal speed.

Even on Earth-2, bad guys hide out in abandoned warehouses. Iris-2, Deadshot-2, and Cisco-1 come face-to-face with Killer Frost, Deathstorm, and their leader… Cisco-2. I did not see that coming. Apparently, Francisco Ramon is the direct liasion with Zoom and his bad guy name is Reverb. Reverb vs. Vibe. It’s some sci-fi opera drama, and Cisco-1 (being the meta character that he is) addresses it after Reverb tries to recruit him to their Zoom-y cause… in a much lower voice, I might add.

Cisco opts out and calls for The Flash. Barry speeds in and knocks out Reverb. in my favorite joke of the whole episode, Barry turns to Cisco-1 after knocking out Cisco-2 and asks, “That didn’t hurt you, did it?”

As Barry throws down with the Team Flash doppelgangers, Deathstorm and Reverb double-team him in a angry rage. Fireballs. Wave blasts. Fireballs. Wave blasts.

Killer Frosts screams at them to stop hurting him and disobeying Zoom’s orders. The two men do not.. until Zoom stops them.

Killer Frost is spared. She runs away crying when Zoom speeds away with Barry in tow. Barry wakes up in a cell. There is a masked man creepily knocking on the glass of his cell and a young woman. Jesse Quick nods to Barry-1. Zoom speeds in and tells him that the prison is the lastplace he’ll ever see, and I scream at my TV, “ARE YOU HUNTER ZOLOMON?”

Super-QUICK Things:

• http://itberice.tumblr.com/post/139026791518

• Barry seeing Barry nerd out over Wells and everything feeling all too real… it’s definitely one of the resons he started empathizing with everyone’s counterparts: he saw himself in himself.
• http://barryspivot.tumblr.com/post/139045108936

• SnowStorm sails on every earth. And then sinks. Sigh. #FireAndIce
• http://killerfroxt.tumblr.com/post/139038061933

• No Clark on the phone list. I know Oliver-2 is dead… but why isn’t “CLARK” on Barry-2’s speed dial?
• I love that Nora and Henry are just chilling in Atlantis. For their anniversary.
• Two mentions of grandchildren in this episode: 1) when Cisco takes selfies with everything because he wants his grandchildren to see that they do cool things and 2) when Nora-2  is on the phone with Barry-1 and wants he and Iris-2 to make grandbabies already.
• Ronnie-2 doesn’t real say much this episode, does he? Is it just me, or was that the male version of fridging a character aka using his death as a plot device to further the development of Caitlin-2?
• Danielle Panabaker is so different in her Killer Frost garb. Reminds me of the way Courtney Cox completely transformed her personality whenever she wore the Fat-Monica suit in FRIENDS.
• “Those are some dope names though.” -Cisco Ramon about Killer Frost and Deathstorm
• I can’t believe Ronnie-2 has trapped Stein-2 in his body. That is some creepy, evil doppelganger shit.
• Yeah, Caitlin-2 is deflecting. She’s totally going to be on our team now.
• I’m excited for more Barry-2. He’s basically Milo from Disney’s Journey to Atlantis:

Nearly everyone in this episode suffers from naive notions that they really should be over by now. Oliver naively believes that Malcolm would surrender his power. Felicity naively believes (though thankfully only for a moment) that her returned father has changed. Nyssa believes that Oliver would kill Malcolm for her, after all she knows Malcolm has done to Oliver personally. Malcolm believes that power is more important than Thea. Even Flashback Chick thinks that giving her jailer the stone will make him set her free. Silly rabbits, Trix are for kids.

But I’m gonna focus this quickie review on the two women driving the forces of the A and B story. Nyssa and Thea.

Nyssa Goes to Mount Doom

Nyssa and Malcolm have more in common than they think. They risk the life of one person (whom they both actually like and care about in some way) because they want power. I’m not sure if Nyssa’s goal all along was to disband the League. It seems that Laurel’s words about Ra’s’ power over her changed her mind from wanting it to not wanting to be imprisoned by the shadow of her father (pun intended). But before that moment, she does just want Malcolm is doing — risking Thea for power.

What bothers me the most about the whole Nyssa story line, is that Nyssa should be able to take down Malcolm herself. I know how stories work — Oliver is the protagonist, so he must be the most active member of the story and more often than not, resolve the problem — but Nyssa should be way more qualified to take down Merlyn than Oliver. She’s been in the League her whole life. Oliver was in it for a few months. Yes, Malcolm is older and trained and possibly a little older than we think he is, but that just means that Oliver’s defeat of him in season 1 was a fluke, not that he’s actually the only person capable of defeating him. Nyssa was trained by the same person who trained Malcolm, at best they should be equals and constantly tie. But we hardly get to even see them fight and Nyssa seems to think, without much proof, that Malcolm would defeat her. How is this possible? How is Nyssa not Malcolm’s equal for her being the Daughter of the Demon? And how is Nyssa’s self esteem that she wouldn’t believe herself capable of defeating him anyway? I think she would be more fearless and more confident.

Finally on Nyssa, why oh why does she insist on acknowledging Oliver as her husband? She doesn’t even like men and she’s still in love with Sara! I suppose it’s a respect for her culture thing, also, I think it’s 72% the reason why she disbanded the League. “In the eyes of the League, I am Nyssa’s husband.” Nyssa basically said, okay, no more League! But the constant reminders that they are married, with still no official resolution of, “okay so we’re NOT married. Here are League divorce papers.” In the end, Oliver wants to get married to Felicity quicker. Will he have two wives? (The answer already seems to be zero wives, because Felicity in the flashforward… I’ll get to that later). Anyway, seems like Nyssa destroyed the ring (must have been a sacred fire of some sort to melt the ring that fast) in order to get a divorce and finally be free. Live your best life, Nyssa. Make smart choices.

Felicity Signs Up For Zazzle

Felicity wants to make shirts for her and Thea regarding their terrible fathers. Only if Nyssa can join the club. Felicity’s dad’s return makes Felicity wonder if maybe he could be back in her life, but she wisely tests him to see if he had an ulterior motive — of course he did. Even without the reveal of her role in Team Arrow — seriously, how easy did he find out about that? Feels like everyone could find out by looking on page 3 of a Google search — and him being evil, Felicity suddenly becoming the CEO of a multi-million dollar company that just innovated battery power would be suspicious. At the very least, he’s an “out of the woodwork” family member coming to get money from his rich daughter. The evil hacking nemesis angle is just adding a Green Arrow sheen on to it.

Felicity calls the police on her dad — calling the best thing she’s had to a dad, Quentin Lance, to come get him. Kinda wish they’d had a moment together, even if briefly.

Before winding down…

I wanna get to the Olicity of it all. Their moment at the end of the episode was beautiful. It warmed my heart. But Malcolm knows about William and is going hard with Damien to exploit it. Oliver KNOWS that Merlyn knows, so his smartest option would be to tell Felicity. Of course, he still remembers the alternate timeline, where she got mad at him, and is trying to avoid that, but it’s going to be so much worse if she finds out from Malcolm/Damien!

Oliver though, is “handsome, but not all that bright,” so he clearly must not see this. It does, however, frustrate me that every Olicity scene, no matter how heartfelt and wonderful and sweet, is tainted with the knowledge that in 4 months or so, Felicity will be so upset with him (likely over the William lies) that they are no longer engaged. Felicity, in that flashforward, doesn’t even look at him as she commands that he kill “him” (most likely Damien, but after her and John’s support this week, it could also be Malcolm — finally), which seems to be further proof that their relationship is fractured. It just really sucks that every scene between them is spoiled because we know (mostly) what is coming.

Flechettes

• Did we ever find out who was hiring Noah Smoak? Seems like he just does this as a contracted hacker, but is his employer important? Is it Damien? Will Noah return later this season? If it’s Donna Smoak in the grave, we can bet on it.
• Oliver’s confused face at Felicity’s father reveal. Perfectly subtle comedy by Stephen Amell.

• When Donna gets that bass in her voice after Felicity reveals Noah is in town? Ooh! Great turn by Charlotte Ross.
• “Here you are. Outnumbered, outgunned, outmaneuvered.” THE WORD IS PLANNED! OUTPLANNED. HAVE YOU NOT BEEN LISTENING TO HAMILTON THE MUSICAL, MERLYN!?
• Even Nyssa says “RETREAT” Like Charles Lee.

• “We will forgo the removal of shirts.”
• Felicity’s wink.
• “I haven’t come empty handed.” “So to speak.”
• Was the Lotus Elixir Listerine?
  

One of the problems with having so many television options is that if you fall behind, the shows can start to pile up. Unfortunately, I fell behind recapping Supergirl, so in order to catch up in time for Lexi Alexander’s directorial debut in National City tonight, I made sure I plowed through the last two episodes and will be covering both today.

One thing that both “Bizarro” and “For the Girl Who Has Everything” have in common is that each takes beloved aspects of Superman lore and graphs it seamlessly onto Kara’s story. In the case of “Bizarro,” the writers have taken one of Superman’s iconic villain concepts and re-purposed it for Supergirl. Instead of being an imperfect clone of Superman, the Bizarro of National City is an imperfect clone of Supergirl.

Granted, there have been a version of Bizarro Supergirl (or, simply, just Bizarro-Girl) in the comics, but in the context of the show, this is the first appearance of this type of villain. There’s no mention of Bizarro #1 ever terrorizing Metropolis, and in fact, Cat is the one who gives her the moniker. This also isn’t the first time writers have played loose with the Bizarro concept. He’s been everything from an alien from htraE to a Luhor-invented clone to a Phantom Zone wraith.

Also unlike the comics, this iteration of Bizarro-Girl is not a resident of Bizarro World but was created by Maxwell Lord. Remember the Jane Doe J’onn found a few eps back? Turns out Lord has been finding comatose young women who match Kara’s description and sciencing them with Krypto-powers. How Lord is able to do this, we’ll never know. (Something about pumping Supergirl’s DNA into Red Tornado’s severed arm).

Aside from the Bizarro-Girl stuff, the episode wraps up the storyline between Kara and Adam (played by Melissa Benoist’s real-life husband Blake Jenner) by ending the relationship. Since Bizarro targets Kara (because Maxwell knows her secret identity), Kara — in typical superhero fashion — tells her would-be love interest that they can’t be together. When Cat finds out that Kara has broken it off with her son, she takes the news worse than Adam.

Bizarro’s attack on Kara also confirms for her and the DEO that Lord is aware of Supergirl’s identity, so Alex heads to Lord Tech to arrest him. I can’t understand how this isn’t a bigger deal in the universe of the show. Can you imagine the kind of media circus that would erupt if a smarmy billionaire had to do a perp walk in front of the world?

Eventually, Kara is able to defeat Bizarro Girl (after she kidnaps James) using Blue Kryptonite and brings her into DEO custody. Before Hank puts Bizarro back into a coma (while DEO agents look for a way to reverse engineer what Lord did), Supergirl comforts her one-time enemy at her bedside.

Once everything is back to normal, Kara flies home to find that someone has left her the grossest plant ever in her apartment. If anyone has ever read “For the Man Who Has Everything,” the classic Superman story by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons — or seen the similarly classic Justice League Unlimited episode of the same name — they would have instantly recognized Kara’s plant.

The next episode picks up exactly where “Bizarro” leaves off except we’re on Krypton and Kara is being woken by a robot named Kelex(!). Before we go any further, here is more proof that the Berlanti-verse is way more faithful to Superman mythos than anything the features side of WB is putting out. To wit, here is Kelex in the comics:

This is Zack Snyder’s take on Kelex in Man of Steel:

Now, here’s Kelex on Supergirl:

Mind you, Supergirl has a TV budget. Anyway…

When Kara awakens in her Kryptonian bedroom, she instantly thinks she’s hallucinating. Not even reassuring words from her mother are able to calm her down. This is a major difference from the original Superman story because I believe Clark fell for the illusion rather immediately — which made it all the more difficult to break free once he realized it was all a dream, reading Word Up magazine.

Anyway, Kara is less gullible than her cousin, so it takes a while for the Black Mercy fantasy to really kick in. But when little prepubescent Kal-El shows up, “Earth” starts becoming a distant memory.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, James and Winn start getting worried that Kara hasn’t shown up for work. They, with Alex, go to her apartment and find Kara comatose and wrapped in the grip of the Black Mercy.

The three of them rush her to the DEO — much to Hank’s dismay — but no one can figure out how to help her. Everything they try only makes the problem worse. Then Alex gets the brilliant idea to have Maxwell Lord — whom she suspects is behind it all — to devise a way to free Kara.

Aside: but how long has Lord been in DEO custody, again? Shouldn’t the news be all over the fact that a government organization just straight up kidnapped a billionaire CEO? Like, there are literally hundreds of articles about Tim Cook not helping the FBI, shouldn’t CatCo or some one be reporting on the disappearance of Lord?

Anyway, Max proves he had nothing to do with it but figures out a way to send Alex into Kara’s dream Inception style to convince her sister to abandon the fantasy on her own free will. You see, the Mercy will only give up its victim if she willingly rejects the hallucination. Alex learned this after being confronted by Astra, who she also suspects.

Astra, it turns out, also had nothing to do with sending the Black Mercy. We’ve seen throughout the series that despite being Kara’s enemy on Earth, she still holds a soft spot for her niece. Instead, Astra’s lover/second-in-command Non is the one who sent the world’s worst flower arrangement to Kara. He figured since he wasn’t allowed to kill her, he could at least make her comatose for an indefinite amount of time while the Kryptonian baddies put their plan in motion.

Back at CatCo, Hank/J’onn must once again don the guise of Kara — this time in her civilian identity and not in her superhero one. While it was an awesome gag, I did think it was a little out of character for J’onn. We’ve seen him mimic Supergirl flawlessly in the past. Maybe it’s the heels?

Once Lord is finished making his Inception contraption, Alex is sent into Kara’s mind, aka Krypton. While there, we find a Kara that has completely given in to the illusion, and she seems happy. Which is why it is all the more heartwrenching for Alex to pull her from this happiness and tell her there is no spoon. Unfortunately, Alex is sentenced to space dildos the Phantom Zone for her troubles.

Alex’s sisterly love breaks through to Kara, though, and she finally wakes up from her dream.

She’s just in time too because Astra and company are in phase one of their plan to destroy the world (via Dish TV apparently). Supergirl speeds to a rooftop to confront her uncle in law while Alex and a fully decked out Martian Manhunter take on Astra. Remember, we’re watching television on a Monday, but this fight is better than every superhero movie pre-2008.

Alex ends up killing Astra with her Krypto-blade, but J’onn takes the blame when Kara finds her dying aunt. We’ll see how these secrets and lies will affect our heroes going forward. In the meantime, Kara is back with her friends (including Winn) and they all reconvene at her apartment over potstickers and ice cream.

And all is well in National City. That is, until Master Jailer and Lexi Alexander show up!

All the Barry Allens. All the Iris Wests. All the Caitlin Snows. All the Jay Garricks?

I’d laugh that Zoom is doing the CW voiceover for this episode if he weren’t, um you know, scary as hell. Zoom takes Banksy-ing a city to a whole other level:

Harry Wells orders the evacuation of S.T.A.R. Labs-2 because the entire city is pointing Zoom in Wells-2’s direction (including the not-so-good-version lab assistant Henry Hewitt/Tokamak-2). Barry Allen-2 wakes up just as Zoom infiltrates the Lab, and he wants to “have some words” with his captors who left him tied up in the basement for barely-a-day, but the three must quickly hide out in the Time Vault/Braille Room (of Requirement). Barry-2 doesn’t handle it well.

Zoom phases through the fake wall, but passes his three targets hidden behind — wait for it– a second fake wall. Wall-ception [BRRRRRRRAAAAAWWWWRWRRRMRMRMMRRMMMMM!!!]. Could this possibly be a clue from the writer’s breaking the Fourth Wall, so to speak, hinting to us that the identity of Zoom is several levels deep of fakeout wall after fakeout wall? I’m reading too much into this.

In Zoom’s lair of three prisoners, pre-speedster Jesse Quick tells Barry that trying to escape is useless and everything is useless and they are all useless individuals, especially her father and the mysterious man in the iron mask tapping coded messages on the glass. P.S. She is not a big fan of her father.

Teenagers, am I right? But Barry, deep down inside, will always be a Harry Wells fanboy. He tells Jesse that he has faith in her father. Barry Allen is the best. No wonder Harry Wells is so sprung on Earth-1.

Zoom speeds in to ruin the moment with some harsh truths: Jesse is only alive so that he can kill her in in front of Harry Wells (WHY DOES HE HATE HIM SO MUCH?), and Harry  Wells is only alive to steal Barry’s speed. He’s a No-Bullshit villain.

Meanwhile back on Earth-1, Jay Garrick laments his lame Re-Flash failure to stop Geomancer from terrorizing a Barry-less Central City by stabilizing the Breach Door Thing. Hmmm… he was just working on it by himself? With no one to witness him? I don’t trust you right now, Jay. Especially since he keeps pushing brilliant Dr. Caitlin Snow into upgrading the Velocity-7-8-9 serum to work on his body, for seemingly noble, “I gotta stop bad guys!” reasons.  Oh no, I’ve jumped off of the SnowJay ship.

Iris has a new boss: Scott Evans. My love-interest senses are tingling. Or maybe he’ll be a journalist mentor who will push Iris West professionally. Or both?!

Barry-2 adorkably explains to his wife, Iris-2, that he was not himself yesterday so she shouldn’t get upset that he ditched her the day her father died. Cisco and Harry watch on as WestAllen-2 wrap their brains about the Multiple Earth Situation (aka Season 2). Grant Gustin does some of his best Mild-Mannered Scientist here; I’m so impressed by how different and the same Barry-2 is from our Barry.

Speaking of “our Barry,” Wells asks Iris to help find Zoom to save his daughter and “our Barry.” Yes, he says, “our Barry” even though he is technically Earth-2 Harrison Wells aka Wells-2 aka his Barry is sitting right in front of him flailing about Iris-2 kissing Barry-1.

Iris suggests they use one of Zoom’s meta-henchmen to track Zoom; Cisco thinks of the heartbroken Killer Frost. Barry-2, CSI Extraordinaire, rambles on while using a special program that utilizes evidence and data combined by other CSI Techs (including Patty Spivot!) to trace the location of metahumans. It’s very Clark Kent alter-ego in the way his voice goes up and down while he humble brags. I love Barry-2. Especially when he insists on tagging along the mission.

IRIS: No, you’ll get hurt and I’ll lose my husband as well as my father!

HARRY & CISCO: No, you’ll be a liability and ruin everything!

ME: Yes, it’ll be hilarious and I like your face in those glasses!

In Zoom’s Lair, the prisoner in the iron mask keeps tapping the glass. Barry does a little Hero Mentoring with Jesse… you can even hear some potential musical theme score for her as they attempt to decode the third prisoner’s pattern of knocking. They figure out the code and I FREAK THE FUCK OUT.

It’s, hmmm, interesting to me that while the Zoom prisoners communicate some crucial information to each other, we flash to Earth-1, where Jay Garrick is currently occupied by his genius girlfriend who just discovered Velocity-9 and Iris West who’s buggin’ him for an interview. Oh, and then Geodude challenges him on Live TV to stop a disaster. He wouldn’t be able to inconspicuously leave if he needed to. So, instead, he doses up with some Velocity-9.

Jay speeds back to the the Lab, all golden and heroic and smiley. He’s a cutie pie, but I STILL DON’T TRUST HIM. Especially when he tells SnowWest that he’s gonna take a nap. A nap, Jay? Oh really? ON WHICH EARTH?

Unless it’s all a gigantic misdirect, the nap is perfectly timed with Zoom cutting off the three prisoner pow-wow and beating the shit out of Barry-1. Our Barry is oddly cool with it because it revealed the only way to exit the prison cell: phase through.

“Enemy of my enemy is my friend, right? What — don’t tell me it doesn’t work like that over here!” — Cisco Ramon

In an Arrow-esque change of location, the hybridized Team Flash scouts the woodlands for Killer Frost. Cisco-1 does his best to convince her to switch sides, but she’s a little bit icy about it:

Barry-2 is not used to all the action. He’s wearing wingtips, for goodnesss sake!

There’s  a lot of weapon firing and icicles flying and Barry-2 flopping around. Iris and Cisco (Irisco?) corner Caitlin-KF-2, and interrogate her about Zoom’s hideout once more.

KILLER FROST : If I tell you, he will kill me.

CISCO: He’ll kill you anyway, Caitlin.

KILLER FROST/CAITLIN-2: Stop calling me that! It’s not my name.

CISCO: Yes it is, you just don’t want to hear it because it reminds you of someone you used to be. Trust me, I know that person very wall.

The KillerVibe in this episode is very, very strong. Cisco appeals to the inner-Caitlin Snow buried within Killer Frost and she gives in just as I start blowing my nose from sobbing. Zoom’s Lair is on the side of a cliff… a Cliff of Insanity, if you will. The plan is to create a frozen staircase and hike right into the Zoom Room. Barry-2 is skeptical, but he’ll do it. For his wife. It’s probably my favorite WestAllen moment from the show, even if it is technically WestAllen-2.

On Earth-1, SnowWest take out Geodude after he breaks into the lab. Where’s Jay? Napping. Mhmmm. Detective Joe West shows up for a quick minute to bring Geodude to Iron Heights. I missed Joe. In post-kickass bliss, Caitlin tells Jay that she’s found a cure to regenerate his cells AND his speed. He’s very, very interested. Very interested. Sigh, that’s Caitlin Snow: when she loves someone, they become her world.

In Zoom’s Cliffside Lair, the rescue squad reaches the captives. Wells and Jesse reunite, as everyone looks on. Barry whispers, “Wells” under his breath like a prayer. Forever a fanboy. Cisco and Barry make heart eyes at each other through Barry’s one-of-a-kind glass prison.

Frosty Caitlin begrudgingly helps release Jesse, but when she tries to freeze-shatter Barry’s cell she is unable to do so. He must phase through; it is the only way. Barry doesn’t think he can, and tells everyone to leave him there. Go on! Git! You don’t need  me. Just leave me be!

Just as everyone loses hope, Barry-2 gives Barry-1 a pep talk. It’s my new religion.

Barry-1 doesn’t want to leave without the mysterious masked prisoner, who is coincidentally also behind a glass prison. Maybe the mask prevents him from fading, as well. An identity-concealing, phase-preventing iron mask. But Zoom shows up because, I guess, Frost-Cait ratted them out?

“Just so you know, You would be very disappointed in you right now,” yells Cisco. But Caitlin-2 flips again and helps freeze Zoom for a while so the squad can escape. COLD IS THE OPPOSITE OF SPEED. COLD IS THE OPPOSITE OF SPEED! Barry makes a Bro Pact with Iron Mask to come back for him. It’s so bromantic.

Now this is wear my Jay-Maybe-Bad-Guy Theory has a flaw: Jay and Joe gotta fix the Breach so that our bb’s can come back to Earth-1. They stabilize it, of course, and it’s all gonna be fine. WestAllen-2 say their goodbyes and get ready to leave Central City and hide out in Atlantis. Wells and Jesse Wells decide it’s time to relocate, too, but to a different Earth. Barry speeds everyone back and forth through the breach with some sick spidey-jumping moves and finds Zoom dangling Harry wells by the neck. That’s, like his move. He does it a lot. Harry is about to pull that same self-sacrifice, tell-my-daughter-I-love-her bullshit, but Barry refuses to let him die. I straight up believed Wells was about to die, but Wells stabs him with a temporary anti-speed dart.

YAAAY! They made it! Jay throws a perfect spiral into the Breach. All is well. With Wells. Two Wells. All is two Wells. But then:

Super-quick Things:

• Barry-1 looks more like a golden, shiny hero than ever, especially with so many glimpses of Barry-2 as juxtaposition.

• “I’m calling it a lair.”

• “She’s thorough.”

• Iris and Jay interacting is throwing me off. Have they ever spoken before?
• Of course Geodude breaks into S.T.A.R. Labs. “I was so surprised he manged that,” said LITERALLY NO ONE.
• SnowWest saving each other. Also, why didn’t Jay wake up from his nap?

• Snowbarry-1 vs. Snowbarry-2

• I just love all the Barrys. All Barrys helping all other Barrys.

I honestly don’t know what the aftermath of all of this is going to be. Every thing is weird and sharky. I’ll just leave some of the twitter reactions here.

Also including this GIF that perfectly describes me whenever this show pulls these plot-twist, theory game changers:

On this week’s Arrow, Oliver gets justification for his lies and it still starts to blow up in his face: there’s a debate, an engagement party, and lots of buildings blow up. The episode is full of Darhk’s demolition team, but I actually use it to refer to all the people in this episode co-signing Oliver’s lies, which will clearly hurt him with Felicity, but also with William and who knows how it will play out with Samantha and Darhk’s larger plans. They’re laying down the explosives. It’s all gonna blow soon.

So it looks like Malcolm is now apart of Damien’s team. They’re in Phase 4 of whatever plan they have — the Undertaking Squared? Phase 5 depends on Ruvé now getting control of City Hall — the Darhk Council doesn’t agree but Damien force chokes the dissenter. Guess he’s watched The Force Awakens and gotten some ideas from Kylo Ren?

Thea and Oliver’s campaign team uncover the post-Earthquake Queen Tax Audit, which reveals Moira’s million dollar payment to Samantha, aka the Baby Momma Drama. “I dont see how something like this would blow back on me.” LOL You KNOW this is going to blow back on you, you idiot.

Later, Laurel senses her father’s 602 police call from dispatch is a trap and saves him from an self-exploding building. Hey, look at Laurel being useful (!) — mostly at the expense of Quentin’s stupidity. But hey, the man didn’t know Oliver was the Green Arrow for YEARS, so, he’s got something missing up there. Quentin then uses this scare to lie to Donna, distancing himself from her, when no one from Team Arrow (including her own daughter), said anything about doing that or it being a good idea. But the parallels are set and we must watch with heavy handedness, how the characters’ decisions in this episode mimic the future Oliver/Felicity blow out. The arguments made in this episode for keeping the secret are also given to Oliver with approval. I just wish in this Quentin/Donna instance, that people would stop underestimating her. She’s a survivor.

Lance to Oliver: “You’re lucky you’re with someone you don’t need to keep secrets from.” EYE ROLL.

The Felicity/Mom talk obviously parallels the future Oliver/Felicity talk about HIS big secret, but what are we supposed to take from it? That Felicity will be understanding? Or will she just ignore what she said this week and get mad at him anyway? (It IS a bigger secret, with consequences that involve both of them as they are getting married, but why go so hard this week establishing Felicity’s forgiving and understanding nature?)  

Thea confronts Oliver with William. “How can I marry Felicity with this lie between us.” Exactly! But somehow Thea agrees he should keep it a secret. WHY IS THEA CO-SIGNING THIS?! She presents it as the right thing for William, but CLEARLY IF THEA AND THEIR OWN CAMPAIGN team CAN FIND OUT ABOUT HIM AND FIGURE IT OUT, ANYONE ELSE CAN TOO.

This is not a well kept secret. It took a night of Googling and access to Moira’s apparently public or at least easily accessible records. Especially with Malcolm Merlyn, who Oliver knows KNOWS, is in the wind. You don’t think he’s going to Darhk with this info? You think he’s gonna sit on this, when he’s FURIOUS that you gave Nyssa power and destroyed the League? He threatened you last week! Naiive Notions still reign, it seems.

“Thank you. For saying what I needed to hear.”

You mean, saying what validates the plot point? It feels like I got hit with a Plot Truck and every time I think a character has reason to disagree with this secret being kept, I’m hit by the truck and they defy logic and past actions. I don’t think Thea would agree with this if it weren’t for plot. She grew up not knowing her father was Malcolm Merlyn, and yes she still had him in her life, but that didn’t ease the betrayal of the lie. It wasn’t the same as knowing he was her father, despite their severe disagreements. She HAS been in William’s position and knows what it feels like to have been deceived her whole life (I feel like there was an arc in Season 2 where she was pissed Moira didn’t tell her about Robert’s misdeeds, right? There was def a time when she was pissed at Moira for lying), so why are they having her co-sign Oliver’s lies? And we know that Moira and Robert’s lies have tarnished their memories in the eyes of their children. Does Oliver want that for William and Samantha?

“Sometimes a lie isn’t wrong if it’s for the good of someone you love.”

I assume Oliver is speaking more of William here than Felicity, but how is lying to your son and your future wife for their good? This seems to be for the good of Samantha, who you don’t love. Felicity will figure it out (the crossover fight didn’t give her enough time to recover from the shock, especially when Oliver just found out himself). William will stay in Central and see Oliver from time to time. Everything would have been fine if you’d told the truth.

But now — as ALWAYS in superhero fiction — the person being kept in the dark for their “protection” ALWAYS ENDS UP IN DANGER ANYWAY. Always. Every single time. I will gladly hear of a time where this didn’t happen. Name them in the comments. But in my recollection, the secret never protects and always backfires on the protected person, who gets angry for being lied to anyway. (Unless you’re a cinnamon roll like Iris West.)  

Anyway. Somehow, the team couldn’t see it coming that the prime target for building demolition would be the debate one. Ruvé’s plan fails, but Oliver gets a bit cocky. “Nice applause. Might bring the house down. Almost. Good luck!” Sure you should be taunting her Oliver?

Oliver wins the debate and has a sparkly engagement party thanks to Donna, and Curtis presents Felicity with a chip that could end her paralysis.

I’ve written about the treatment of Felicity’s paralysis before again: why do it if she’s 1.) not Oracle (and I understand why she’s NOT) and 2.) it’s not permanent, so I don’t want to hash it all out again, but I suppose we knew Curtis’ implant was coming. In a way, it helps his character have more to do (please give him more to do). But the simplicity of this disability storyline didn’t really give Felicity much struggle or really affect the characters or the storyline in any major way, especially if it is undone so quickly. Viewers who are disabled (temporarily or permanently) don’t get an accurate representation of their point of view and it trivializes their struggle. I’m almost glad we can be over it soon, because it didn’t add much to the show. (Now let’s do the same for Oliver’s Baby Mama lies, thanks.)

Then there’s the tag:

Darhk: “William’s mother asked us to look after him.” Dun dun dunnnn.

This blows up next episode in what will probably be a spectacular and painful fashion. But VIXEN!!!!! At least we get Vixen.

Flechettes

• “Darhk did not destroy Star City so his wife could be mayor.” Look at you using your thinking cap, Oliver!
• “You look good in glitter.”

• Since I’m writing this after watching the next week’s Flash, I’m really glad Cisco is gonna “take a look” at Diggle’s helmet. Seeing it in the trio shot of GA, Speedy, and “Spartan” made me wish Diggle could breathe in that thing. I know he can, but I felt suffocated just looking at it.

• “The first time we met, you asked me to pull data off a damaged laptop. It’s kind of romantic.” (Or it would be without the sense of impending doom surrounding their relationship.)
• I love that Felicity is wearing a S.T.A.R. Labs shirt at home! (But she can’t take Barry’s calls? What’s up with that?)
• What’s Andy’s status right now? I suppose they couldn’t squeeze in Eugene Byrd for the episode, but what’s he doing? How does he feel about giving up Ghost secrets these days?
• “You sound surprised. I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted.” I need Curtis and Felicity to be best friends. They are the same person. Better yet: give me Curtis, Felicity, Barry, and Team Flash geeking out over science stuff. Please and thank you.

• Thank goodness for Thea and her simple, direct approach. “Can you hack the fire alarm?” lol “Can you hack my phone and call Diggle?” “Can you hack my bathroom and shave my face?”
• “Curtis, you’re terrific.” I see what you did there.

• Someone’s gonna wonder why Mayoral Candidate Queen carries a heavy duffle bag with him everywhere. Does the bow even fit in there? If not, where does he keep it?
• Their neighbor from Ivytown visiting was hilarious. Also enjoyable? The way Felicity squeezes Oliver’s hand, arm, jacket pocket whenever she is reigning herself in from embarrassment or saying something she shouldn’t.
• The flashback theme this week is apparently: “It takes monsters to fight monsters.” Except we know that it doesn’t? Oliver spends the next few years finding another way.
• Also in the flashbacks, I think Oliver is the Diamond in the Rough — “One who has been granted passage by the gods. I believe that person is you.” Are the flashback baddies looking for the Cave of Wonders?

VIXEN VIXEN VIXEN VIXEN! I’m excited for Vixen next episode, and… that’s it.

It would be an understatement to say last week’s Supergirl was the most anticipated episode of the season. Not only did it follow what was arguably the series’ best ep to date, episode 14 — titled “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” — was directed by the NOC’s favorite director Lexi Alexander.

Needless to say, the internet was quite excited about her take on Supergirl.

If you want to hear more about the behind-the-scenes on Supergirl, check out the most recent Hard N.O.C. Life with Lexi!

The episode kicks off with Kara and Alex doing some sisterly bonding when Non shows up out of nowhere. Instead of seeking to avenge the death of his beloved Astra, Non requests Kara’s presence at her funeral. In the sky. Because Krypton was a matriarchal society(!), it is Kara’s duty to lead the rites.

Non and Kara agree to a two-week ceasefire out of respect for Astra’s passing. But after that, it will be all out war between the Kryptonians and Earth (you’d think this would be a good time for Clark to get involved, no?)

At the DEO, Kara tips Hank off about the mourning period, but is clear she’s still pissed at him for killing her aunt. Alex wants to tell the truth, but Hank prevents her. He’s fine with Kara hating him but knows it would destroy her to learn Alex was really the one responsible.

Kara heads to Maxwell Lord’s cell to blow off some steam by talking trash to her favorite billionaire bad guy. Lord was hoping he’d get early release for saving her life last week, but no dice. Pay attention, this notion of illegally detaining people will be important later.

At CatCo, they finally start addressing the thing I’ve been talking about for weeks: Maxwell Lord’s disappearance! Jimmy is in an awkward spot because he knows exactly where the billionaire is being held but can’t tell Cat without outing Kara (and the government’s top secret alien hunting op). So he takes Kara aside and they have a pretty substantive conversation about the ethics of holding people without due process in secret prisons like Lian Yu S.T.A.R. Labs the DEO.

Kara doesn’t have time for any of it, though. She’s too busy tracking down a serial killer who’s taking out Fort Rozz escapees executioner style. Hank and Alex think they may be dealing with an intergalactic bounty hunter and THEY’RE TOTALLY REFERENCING FRAGGIN’ LOBO!

Though this guy they’re tracking isn’t actually the Main Man. He’s a dude in a Boba Fett costume who calls himself Master Jailer and is executing his prisoners with a space guillotine. When Hank and Alex figure out how he’s identifying his victims, Supergirl shows up to stop him. The fight scene that ensues is the reason why you hire Lexi Alexander to come direct your superhero show.

Unfortunately, Jailer gets away with his victim. Fuming, Kara returns to the DEO and bites J’onn/Hank’s head off before she’s confronted again by Jimmy. Earlier, he had a heart to heart with Cat about journalism ethics and he realized that it was his duty to shine a light on what was happening underground. (Not to mention the fact that he let his DEO-association slip with Lucy, which only made her more paranoid about his closeness to Supergirl. You’d think James would be a better liar than this).

By the way, Lexi’s framing of the whole scene between James and Kara was amazing.

Before their argument can be settled, Supergirl joins Alex in confronting the Master Jailer, who they’ve identified as a National City police detective in disguise. In the process, Alex gets shot (though she had a vest on) and Kara gets kidnapped.’

Hank and Alex finally figure out that their serial killer was not a Rozz escapee but a prison guard who has decided to dole out his own kind of justice. In his lair, Jailer has Supergirl in a Red Sunlight-enfused cage and is about to execute his latest when Alex shows up to save the day.

When they return to base, Kara and the DEO agree to let Maxwell free. Apparently, James’ ethics lectures resonated with her (and by extension Hank and Alex). And for what it’s worth, the DEO isn’t the only branch of government that was inspired by James Olsen. The very next day (after Supergirl aired), President Obama announced his intention to finally close Guantanimo Bay.

Kara ends the episode visiting her mother’s hologram and passingly mentions the Myriad program that Non and company were setting up. The hologram proceeds to start freaking the fuck out.

Wonder if this has anything to do with Brainiac 8? (Who will be coming to Smallville Supergirl next week in the form of a previous Earth’s Kara Zor-El, Laura Vandervoort!

After taking a week off, Supergirl returns with an all-new episode on CBS tonight. The episode that aired two weeks ago — simply named “Solitude” — was probably the most easter egg-packed episode of the season. Rather than a traditional recap of the events, I’m just going to geek out over all the cool nods to past Super-lore, including and especially call backs to Smallville since former Supergirl Laura Vandervoort was guest starring. Which is basically what I did while live-tweeting anyway.

Gotta say, as psyched as I am to see #Supergirl honor its heritage with @Vandiekins22 #Smallville season 7 was my least favorite. #SupGirl

—
The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 01, 2016

First geek out moment: the episode starts with a flashback to when Kara’s pod was stuck in the Phantom Zone. Kara is in stasis when a console on her ship lights up with the logo of Brainiac!

I’m glad Supergirl is unafraid to utilize classic Superman villains. We’ve had six (going on seven) live action Superman movies in the last 40 years and he only ever battles Lex and Zod on the big screen. It seems television is the only place to get the other members of the Super family’s rogues gallery.

Hank reverts to his Martian form when sparring with Alex. We need more episodes with J’onn in his Manhunter glory. Coincidentally, an upcoming episode will dive into how J’onn became Hank, so definitely looking forward to that.

You see, Kara has left her post at the DEO, and Alex continues to blame herself because she hasn’t come clean about Astra’s death (Kara still blames J’onn). But you know, it wouldn’t be an homage to Smallville if “secrets and lies” weren’t a big part of the show.

Speaking of which, James wants to spill Kara’s Super-secret to Lucy because they’re having relationship problems. And yes, Kara thinks that’s a stupid reason to reveal her secret identity too. Lying and cheating is a theme to tonight’s episode because this week’s MacGuffin is a thumb drive that contains the identities of cheating spouses when an Ashley Madison-like website gets hacked. The hacker? None other than the last person to play Kara Zor-El:

It was a nice touch to have Laura appear on the episode looking like her regular self — since she would spend the rest of the ep in Mystique cosplay — if for no other reason than to remind folks of what she looked like on Smallville when she was Supergirl.

Later, Winn attempts to hack the hacker but is stopped when a being materializes out of his laptop. Instead of the blonde who bore a striking resemblance to Supergirl, he is confronted by woman in blue who calls herself “Indigo.” In actuality, she is an artificial intelligence created on Krypton called Brainiac-8.

When the DEO shows up, Kara is pissed and wants to go somewhere to cool off? What better place than the North Pole? James suggests they take a visit to Superman’s Fortress of Solitude to get some answers, and this is where the producers throw in every Super Easter Egg they can think of!

The first one? None other than a giant “key” to Fortress that’s straight out of a comic book!

YES! They have a gigantic ass golden key to get into the Fortress of Solitude! #Supergirl #SupGirl https://t.co/GTzyo5ZiL1

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The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 01, 2016

Upon close inspection, the key also kinda sorta resembles the Kryptonian Command Key from Man of Steel except it’s gold instead of grimdark.

Once inside the Fortress, we’re shown all of the wonders and amazing things from the giant Jor-El and Lara statues to a return visit from Kelex! Also, there are trophy cases with things like a Legion ring. This isn’t the first time a Legion ring has been depicted in live action. Back when Barry and friends dimension-jumped to Earth-2, a ring could be spotted in tunnel between the worlds.

But even before the Legion was teased on The Flash, we met actual Legionnaires on the eighth season of Smallville. Back then, Clark was visited by Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lad, and Saturn Girl. If the Legion ever make an appearance on Supergirl, here’s hoping they invite those actors back.

After Kara learns everything she needs to know about Indigo/Brainiac-8, she heads back to face her without the DEO’s help. This will probably be a mistake. Especially because Indigo ain’t playing around.

By the way, another geek out moment for me was seeing that the Supergirl producers reinstated the original Kryptonian alphabet.

I'm legit happy that the #Supergirl producers reinstated the original Krypto-alphabet! Thanks @AJKreisberg #SupGirl twitter.com/mehcadbrooks/s…

—
The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 01, 2016

Though it was created for the comics, Smallville used this text all the time. But Man of Steel decided it was going to create its own version of the language.

Anyway, Indigo materializes out of the cell phone of a general and hacks into the city’s nuclear missile outpost. Supergirl arrives but not before the missiles have been launched.

Kara superspeeds up to the missile to disable it — with help, in her ear, from Hank. This is another scene that echoes a classic Smallville moment.

This whole ep's like a #Smallville homage. I mean, they basically recreated this scene: @christellexoxo #Supergirl https://t.co/UyEF7aph1v

—
The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 01, 2016

Fortunately, the missiles get disarmed and Indigo gets dispatched. Unfortunately, Non is able to reconstitute the android using the Omegahedron, which is a direct call back to the Supergirl movie from 1984.

In an episode full of call backs and Easter eggs, this was definitely a deep cut. But the Smallville references don’t stop since the newest Supergirl will be dabbling in Red Kryptonite, which was a staple of that show as well. Be sure to tune in while we live tweet!

Sixteen episodes in to the first season of Supergirl and I should probably learn not to underestimate the show. You see, prior to the airing of last week’s Red Kryptonite-influenced episode, titled “Falling,” I assumed we would be getting filler between stronger episodes. Boy, was I wrong! Seeing Melissa Benoist channel Bad Supergirl might be some of my favorite moments all season. It also doesn’t hurt that after the previous episode’s many homages to Smallville and other past Super history, the show kicked it up a notch this week.

Before we dive into that, though, Supergirl has to engage in some light corporate network synergy and have Cat Grant appear on The Talk, the real life CBS daytime talk show.

Cat Grant on The Talk. Corporate synergy at work. #Supergirl #SupGirl

—
The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 15, 2016

We listen to Cat talk about all the good Supergirl has done for National City over a montage of her good deeds. The best part is when Kara finds a prepubescent admirer getting picked on by bullies.

Seeing Supergirl helping a small child stand up to bullies is the kind of superheroing stuff will likely never see in the movie universe, so it’s great that the more aspirational version of the DC heroes get to live on in television. Of course, showing Supergirl in this light is all prelude to the real gist of the episode: her exposure to Red Kryptonite.

Forgot this was the RedK episode. No wonder they spent the first 10m playing up how nice #Supergirl is. That's gonna change fast. #SupGirl

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The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 15, 2016

For those unfamiliar, Red Kryptonite is a variation that affects Kryptonians differently than the green stuff. Instead of making them sick, it changes their personalities, usually by unleashing their inhibitions and bringing out their dark side. Red K has had different incarnations and effects in the comics, but its introduction on Smallville is, arguably, the most mainstream interpretation of it.

While Red-K was just a naturally occurring strain of kryptonite on Smallville, its origin on Supergirl is quite different. Their Red-K is an artificially engineered substance created by Maxwell Lord. Also different from Smallville, this Red-K’s radiation is absorbed during initial contact and needs an antidote to be removed. On Smallville, Clark is only under its influence when he is in physical contact with the substance.

When Kara is exposed, the effects start to take over rather quickly. She comes to work the next day in a whole new wardrobe. And a new attitude. With her DEO co-workers, she’s dismissive and cocky. In fact, when they’re in pursuit of an alien baddie, she ends up letting him go because she’s bored. Senator Crane, who has come 180 from her previous stance on aliens, is at DEO HQ and is not pleased by Supergirl’s new attitude. Supergirl doesn’t care.

And if you had any doubt that Supergirl was drawing a lot of influence from how Smallville dealt with Red Kryptonite, this gifset kind of sets the record straight:

There was one huge difference though.

Throwing Cat off a building def trumps stealing a bunch of high end electronics. Red Kara > Red Clark #Supergirl #Smallville

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The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 15, 2016

After coming so close to death, Cat goes on television and denounces Supergirl, who has coincidentally adopted a new look that, appropriately, resembles the military tunics worn by Astra and the evil Kryptonians.

This leads to my favorite moment of the entire series. You see, Smallville isn’t the only Superman story being alluded to on the show. When Kara flies off in to the night, she ends up at her favorite cafe, flicking peanuts at the bar… just like Bad Superman from Superman III.

When the DEO shows up to take down Evil Kara, Hank has to reveal his secret identity as the Martian Manhunter in order to finally bring her down. Of course, this also means he can no longer be head of the organization since he’s outed as not Hank Henshaw. But it’s a sacrifice he had to make for Kara’s safety.

Later, in a DEO cell, J’onn reveals who he is to Senator Crane — earlier in the episode, they hinted at some possible romantic sparks between the two, but it’s unlikely she’ll reciprocate now that she knows he’s a Martian like the one who abducted her. Now that the Hank Henshaw guise is exposed, we’re perfectly set up for a retelling of how J’onn came to earth and will be reminded about why Martian Manhunter needs his own show already.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to Earth-1… King Shark returns. Also, I learned that there’s no such thing as a “filler episode” for The Flash. I’ll admit that I was wrong and incorrectly assumed that bringing back King Shark after the heavy Earth-2 plotline was a gimmick, but this episode (aka Jaws 2) really sunk its teeth into developing character growth of the members of Team Flash.

Boy oh boy was I wrong about this episode being a filler. The promos did not do it justice. #TheFlash #DatFlash @FLASHtvwriters

—
The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) February 24, 2016

It’s been literal seconds since the twisted ending of the Earth-2 mission; everyone is still pretty much mid-scream. Caitlin babbles in shock, and you can hear her say something along the lines of, “No no no no no not again.” Ouch.  Barry wants to re-open the breach and go after Zoom, but Wells tells him the breach is permanently closed because of science-y quark matter reasons. Basically, it is now impossible to travel between Earths.

Cisco and Barry discuss how Caitlin might react: Cisco fears that this may be a turning point for Caitlin becoming cold like Caitlin-2, but Barry is confident that she’ll heal in time. Harry Wells suggests that they not tell Caitlin, Joe, and Iris about their Earth-2 counterparts so that they don’t influence their realities in potentially negative, Hamlet-y ways. What happens on Earth-2, stays on Earth-2.

But to Snowbarisco, forgetting is a lot easier said than done: the trio throw themselves into anti-metahuman work as a distraction from the loss of Jay Garrick and the helplessness of Zoom’s terror on another world.

ENTER DISTRACTION IN THE FORM OF A HALF-GIANT, HALF-SHARK.

King Shark escapes from the A.R.G.U.S. aquarium, so John and Lyla Diggle pay a visit to Central City where they think the meta-shark is heading to target The Flash. Perfect! Barry could really use a Diggle Pep Talk because he’s reaching Oliver Queen levels of burden and moodiness. Barry also asks about Felicity because she hasn’t been returning his calls, and the Barricity shipper in me emerges out of my body like a holy ghost. Now Barry really sounds like Oliver.

Oh, Digg is still not over Barry’s speed:

In an attempt to bond with Wally West(!!!), Barry tries to help Wally with his project application to get into Central City University’s engineering program. Wally is proposing creating a supercar with turbines like jet engines because, you know, FAST. Damn, Wally. You go, kid.

When Barry makes suggestions and points out some of the project’s flaws, Wally does not respond well. Barry’s instinct that Wally doesn’t like him seems to be on the nose. Barry uselessly tries to backtrack while Iris and Joe exchange awkward glances. Everyone wants this relationship to work out… especially me! The initial rockiness and power struggle between Barry and Wally sets up how their mentorship will be when Wally inevitably gets his speedforce powers. I like it.

BARRY: Do you have a problem with me?

WALLY: Who could have a problem with you? You’re Barry, right? You’re perfect.

At the lab, Cisco calls Caitlin out for being a frosty, well, bitch. He accidentally lets it slip that he met Caitlin’s doppelganger, and she ice-glares Cisco into admitting everything he knows about Killer Frost. Caitlin assures him that she will not become a cold-hearted meta-villain and that her emotional freeze is her temporary way of healing and dealing. Let’s be real, Cisco is thinking about his own asshole doppelganger and fears that he has the propensity to become a meta-villain, too.

In the under-lab/the new residence of the Wells father-daughter duo, Daddy wells is frantically working to help locate King Shark. Hmmm… another clue that Harry feels guilty for anything Earth-2 related. Jesse Wells wants to help. She’s a pair of fresh eyes, both as an addition to Team Flash and as a character to the TV show.

Jessie's curiosity/ desire to help is refreshing. Like Wally's disbelief is welcome. Everyone else is too chill now. #TheFlash #DatFlash

—
The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) February 24, 2016

Wally West is thrown into his first real Central City meta-human experience when King Shark rips the roof off the West house screaming, “WHERE’S FLASH ME WANT TO EAT FLASH ME HUNGRY FOR FLASHY FOOD?” Wally just stares in half-horror, half-WTF. That poor kid is not used to Central City.

"A shark busted in here like the Kool-aid man..." BEST LINE EVER. #TheFlash #DatFlash @FLASHtvwriters

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The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) February 24, 2016

Barry makes a sneaky quick-change and tells King Shark that there’s no way to get back to Earth-2 because all of the breaches have been sealed. In his tone, you can hear that Barry Allen is OVER IT. He’s done with all things Earth-2 and just wants to move the hell on.

Barry just casually talking to a meta-shark. "Yeah, man. We closed the breach. Sorry bro." #TheFlash #DatFlash #kingshark

—
The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) February 24, 2016

Barry’s not-so-mysterious disappearance does not go unnoticed by Wally. The future-speedster calls Barry a coward and Barry, Iris, and Joe say nothing to dispute it to keep his identity a secret. When Wally storms out, Barry tells Iris and Joe about his experiences on Earth-2. Barry feels guilty about the fates of the doppelgangers because that’s who Barry is.

Luckily, Team Flash has come up with a plan to locate and bait King Shark… and it involves a Flash lure dummy that they attach to a buoy. It works: Team Flash has made the predator become the prey. Barry realizes that Earth-2 is NOT Vegas, and he has to deal with his problems and use them as lessons.

The results are beautiful. Seriously, seriously beautiful.

Except King Shark. He’s still ugly and scary.

Nothing raises team morale like defeating a yoked up great white shark-monster. Caitlin and Cisco make up. Papa Joe gives Wally one of his Daddy speeches. Barry gathers everyone up in the lab and apologizes for his lack of leadership. He is my favorite person ever.

Barry Allen is such a good man. Admitting his wrongs. Apologizing for his behavior. Making a plan. Providing hope. #TheFlash #DatFlash

—
The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) February 24, 2016

End tag: The Unmasking of Zoom

I don’t even want to get into this. HOW MANY JAYS ARE THERE?

Super-quick Things:

• A.R.G.U.S. has been monitoring meta-human activity for potential weaponization. Reminds me of Project CADMUS on Supergirl.
• Next time we see Diggle, he’s gonna have a helmet upgrade.
• Not over how casually Barry tells Iris that they were married on Earth-2. I hope that they’ll subvert the original crush, and now Iris will be the one pining!
• I spy with my little eye a Snowbarry moment.
• The KillerVibe practical joke when Cait pretends to hate her name is perfect and total fanservice. Now do you have faith she’s a good guy, Cisco?
• Is Digg the one to die on Arrow? Is that why they’re setting up this relationship between him and Barry? Maybe it’s Lyla who dies?
• If Everyman-2 was the one who died, then he would’ve morphed back into his true form. Are there more body snatchers? Is it a time travel/earth-travel crossover? How many factors are in play?

It’s been a month since Arrow’s last episode, but I’m still thinking about Vixen. How she needs her own show. How I want to know more about her character outside of a 30-minute web series. How awesome Megalyn EK was in bringing the character from voice acting to live-acting. But a few thoughts about the episode before I gush some more.

We knew we were heading here. Besides the fact that the Flarrow crossover showed Felicity getting upset about the Baby Mama Drama, Oliver lying to his fiance about something this big, when he had a choice was definitely going to lead to Felicity wanting no parts of it. It was an episode with an inevitable conclusion and I basically played Name the Trope as we watched.

Olicity Burning

I’ve said before how this arc annoyed me with great Olicity scenes knowing we were headed to this conclusion (spoiling the moments), but I’m also annoyed at the way they wrote Felicity’s anger. I get it here, Oliver lied for this long about his son (when he could have instead lied to Baby Mama Drama — that’s all I’m calling her) and said he didn’t tell Felicity when he could have (she can keep a secret) and this close to their wedding? Of course, Felicity is going to be angry and feel betrayed, and like typical Oliver making solo decisions when he’s supposed to be a part of a team (whether Team Arrow, or their relationship). 

But Oliver’s fear of telling her comes from that darned crossover scene where she gets mad at him when he just found out himself. I think Oliver never found the balance where Felicity was mad in the crossover, but would have cooled down soon after. Her anger would be directly proportional to the length of time he didn’t tell her. In the crossover, a few hours. Now? Months. But I am annoyed that the writers don’t give us time with Felicity where she isn’t angry about this. We know that forgiveness is in her character, she would help Oliver figure out how to be with his son and not make Baby Mama Drama upset. She’d help him figure out how to be the Arrow and protect his son. We see it in how she puts aside her anger to help William. We needed to see more of that. Because now it looks like she’s angry if he tells her, angry if he doesn’t.

With a wedding scene (even if just on the surface) coming up in tonight’s episode, it’s hard to say if Felicity’s anger will last through the flashforward, or if the anger isn’t directed at Oliver, but rather the death/situation. It’s hard to imagine she’d leave the team — Oliver’s death, his refusal to consider them as a couple, and her short-lived disability didn’t push her away, so I have to hope that her willingness to save Star City outweighs her ire. We’ll see where the show goes with this.

Miraculous Disservice

In addition to the inevitable explosion on the relationship front, I knew that the show wasn’t going to give any real weight or spend any real time on Felicity being in a wheelchair. Never any moments of reflection or appreciation for those in real life (or even another fictional character) who are differently abled and must use a wheelchair. A three or four episode struggle before an immediate fix (and a month-long hiatus to skip over any issues with the technology). And as I’ve said before, Felicity, as a wealthy CEO, never had any problems getting access to a wheelchair or healthcare or ramps or medication or anything to really make this an obstacle for her character. One episode of hallucinations (after taking like TWO pills) is not a substantial obstacle. If this arc didn’t change her character or have her really face anything, what was the point?

It feels like it was all done to be a clear Oracle mimicry, and we didn’t need that. The similarities already existed and they could have referenced Oracle existing in-universe in the exact same way that they did without putting Felicity in a wheelchair. I’ve been reading a lot on plot and structure in writing for film/tv, and one thing I recently read was: if a character achieves/doesn’t achieve their stated goal and everything goes back to normal, then the story isn’t worth telling. Felicity achieves her goal of being able to walk again, but nothing else changes. Yes, Felicity isn’t engaged anymore, but that has nothing to do with the wheelchair-arc. This story wasn’t worth telling. (Ahem, much like the flashbacks right now.)

I guess I’m just glad it’s over. The writers weren’t being sensitive to the fact that real people who cannot walk watch their show and made paralysis an easy fix, so it’s better that it’s over. I just hope that Curtis’ implant is indeed a permafix, in the sense that I don’t need it going haywire for dramatic effect.

Anyway, let’s move on to the best part of the episode!!

I Need More Mari

Mari McCabe saved this episode for me. A lot of it was frustrating, but she wasn’t. She’s an awesome, strong, confident, powerful (SHE DESTROYED DAMIEN’S AMULET), smart black woman who the hero needed to go to in order to save his son. She had more knowledge than the heroes and came to Star City like she owned the place. While every line she spoke was basically backstory or a pilot hook, I didn’t mind because I was legitimately intrigued. Oh she’s a fashion designer? She’s an orphan? Whaaatt?! I would love for Mari McCabe to have her own show.

We need more women superheroes anyway, with Supergirl still not officially renewed (I keep hearing conflicting things on its season two status) and Agent Carter constantly on the bubble. And the fact that she’d be a black female lead of a superhero show? Sign me up yesterday! Megalyn EK’s performance was awesome, and man did she pull off that black lipstick!! Even the graphics were really good for conveying her powers — a show with its own graphics budget would be able to do amazing things, in the same way The Flash does a lot with their budget, and The Flash has more they need to pull off.

I also love that Mari lives in a real city, not a fictional one like Star or Central. Even in a fictional, superhero universe, Detroit has real life issues that Mari could combat as Vixen. Plus, from what I’ve seen of the animated special, she has ties to Africa, other magical relatives, and lots of great potential villains. What does her normal life look like? How would she handle her magical life and normal life colliding? I need to know more!

Giving Vixen her own show, with more backstory, more agency, and more characters of color would prevent her appearance on Arrow feeling like the Magical Negro Trope. It unfortunately hits many of the markers (stepping into the white protagonists society, bringing wisdom and more “primitive” magic…), but giving Mari her own show and fleshing out her character would help lessen that feeling. Especially if there are more Flash and Arrow crossovers. Then she’s just a member of the pseudo-Justice League they’ve formed. (They really need to come up with a name for it. I can’t go beyond Super-Flarrowverse and that’s not even including Legends of Tomorrow…!)

So please. Please, give us Vixen. It can air on Monday nights at 8 (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend can move to another night). I’d say Fridays at 8, but premiering a show in the deathslot isn’t great, plus I think Sleepy Hollow is maybe doing okay there right now, and I can’t have more black on black primetime like when Sleepy Hollow went up against Scandal. And we know 8pm is Berlanti hour. It could maybe be a summer show or a hiatus show (what I thought Legends was originally going to be).

I just really need a black woman superhero on TV right now, Mari specifically. So here’s my voice to the list: Give us Vixen.

That’s all I have after a month off. Arrow returns tonight and I wait to see where things are going.

Last week’s Supergirl was the Martian Manhunter origin story we’ve been waiting for all season, and it didn’t disappoint. From a guest appearance by former Superman Dean Cain — no longer the world’s only Asian Superman — to David Harewood giving an excellent performance as Evil Hank (in a silly wig), the episode had everything we could hope for. Unfortunately, with all eyes on tonight’s crossover with The Flash, I don’t have time to do a proper recap, so I’ll leave you with Christelle’s live tweets from the night.

"Martian Madness" #Supergirl #SupGirl

—
The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 22, 2016

Hello, @meagantandy. RT @ravenwing263 now who are we fan casting for Miss Martian? https://t.co/YsHio4SH0P

—
The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 21, 2016

I'm getting crazy Lois & Clark feelings. I haven't listened to Dean Cain talk about different planets in a looong time. #SupGirl #Supergirl

—
Christelle (@christellexoxo) March 22, 2016

I'm very invested in Lex's and Hank/J'onn's relationship. They're so sweet. She's that father figure she lost. #SupGirl #Supergirl

—
Christelle (@christellexoxo) March 22, 2016

Best #Supergirl egg tonight is J'onn's love of Chocos (the DCU's Oreos). #SupGirl #MartianManhunter @DavidHarewood https://t.co/TTHHqucFP0

—
Keith Chow (@the_real_chow) March 22, 2016

Asshole!Hank. Alright. #SupGirl #Supergirl #MartianManhunter

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The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 22, 2016

Holy shit, Jeremiah Danvers threw Hank off a cliff!?? #SupGirl #Supergirl #MartianManhunter

—
The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 22, 2016

So taking care of Alex and Kara was Jeremiah's literal dying wish. A blood debt. #SupGirl #Supergirl #MartianManhunter

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The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 22, 2016

Party Rock Alex. No way. #SupGirl #Supergirl #MartianManhunter

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The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 22, 2016

Project Cadmus: Very different from Project Katniss where they stick prisoners in a Hunger Games arena. #SupGirl #Supergirl

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The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 22, 2016

Baby Kara adjusting to her powers! And listening to Kelly Clarkson! #SupGirl #Supergirl #MartianManhunter

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The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 22, 2016

Dean Cain said, "Superman". I'm not freaking out, you are. #SupGirl #Supergirl #MartianManhunter

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The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 22, 2016

"I just want to be useful to somebody. I want to be worthwhile." -Kara #SupGirl #Supergirl #MartianManhunter

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The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 22, 2016

HE'S ALIVE. #SupGirl #Supergirl #MartianManhunter

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The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 22, 2016

More than anything, tonight's #Supergirl proved #MartianManhunter needs his own show. #SupGirl @DavidHarewood thenerdsofcolor.org/2015/09/14/mar…

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The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) March 22, 2016